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female
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anonymous
writes: Hi,About two years ago I was in a lesbian relationship, but we split up because she cheated on me. It was a drunken one night stand that ended up going further because she thought I wouldn't forgive her. We were together for nearly 2 years. Anyway, we're still in contact and we want to sort things out and try again. My question is... How can we get past it? It seems like we're not getting anywhere because it's a long distance relationship as well. I want to do anything I can to make it work because I still love her more than anything and I miss her! Even after all this, we're still very close and I can't imagine not being with her. Please help!
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cheated on me, drunk, lesbian, long distance, one night stand, split up Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 December 2005): Thanks for your replies! She is definitely worth it. She's always telling me she's made stupid mistakes and that she wants to sort things out and try again. We talk as much as we can and we talk on the phone nearly everyday.
I have forgiven her, but I still have difficulty trusting her when she gets drunk. When she's sober I can trust her 100%. As for living closer, we've spoken about that a few times and we want to do something about it. Just hope it's soon!
A
male
reader, Mr.Ed +, writes (23 December 2005):
 Well it's always been said to me; Once a cheater always a cheater. I'm sorry for your troubles you have endured. It also bothers me emotionally that it's long distance. If you don't really see the person everyday or at least get your hugs then how are you really certain that it's not going on. I personally need reasurance from time to time and I get that through looking into her eyes. I think that if your GF is really ready to try then maybe you too should live a little closer. In addition I think over a long time you will be able to trust her again but remember that it's not going to be barried way down deep where it won't surface. So any little indiscrepencies she does may trigger a very uncomfortable feeling for you. Either way to work at love is actually a blissful feeling. To work at being LONELY and miserable is easy. Try it maybe it'll will be the best ever. If you don't try it you will wonder for a long time what might have been. Sincerely Ed.
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A
female
reader, shania  +, writes (23 December 2005):
 It can still work out with a little bit of effort.Ok, she cheated on you and she was wrong,if she was sorry and regretted it then she deserves a second chance.But,if she was to do it again then i would leave her because she took advantage of your trust.Now,if you live far away from each other,then thats when both of you,have got to make the effort.So,keep the contact going with email,txting by phone,writing letters,calling her etc and also seeing her weekends,keep the relationship fresh so it doesnt go stale,but you must find it in your heart to forgive her and not keep bringing it up,otherwise you and her wont stand a chance.She must be worth it?
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