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male
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anonymous
writes: my and my girlfriend have been together for 8 months now. she is 20, i'm 26. from time to time, one of her ex's will be in or around town and try to contact her through a friend to talk or hang out. she seems quite eager to do these things and can't understand why i don't care for the idea. what REALLY bugs me right now though, is how when an ex called her friend looking for her, he left an email address to give to her (i had to work this information out of her). hours later she changed her email password claiming that it wasn't safe because she "just remembered everyone knows i use that password for everything." wtf? this was a guy she wanted to date so they humped for a while but he didn't like her enough to go out with her, she also said he was kind of a jerk. doesn't really sound like someone you want to keep as a friend to me. am i being paranoid? so far she's been very trustworthy, but i've learned to trust my gut and my gut is telling me something isn't right here...
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 December 2005): My word of advice is do not make her shut him out because she has previously slept with him. She knows where she stands with him and will more than likely want to stay friends as there is no reason (besides you and your feelings) not too. Your part in how you handle this will determine the strength of the relationship. You said she called him a kind of jerk, well chances are he is, and harmless to your relationship. Ask her questions and snub out those feelings of miss trust. I have lost many great friends who were male because i was forbidden any contact. You need to keep this simple.
A
female
reader, mommyofthree +, writes (23 December 2005):
 I think you are right to be suspicious of the email password thing! People do not usually change those things all of the sudden. If she normally shares passwords with you then see if she will share the new one with you, if not then there may be something going on. Definitely talk to her and see what, if anything is going on. I hope it is nothing, good luck.
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