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male
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*elpme100
writes: Hi, calling all girls out there. Please can you give me your honest opinions. The saying goes tall, dark and handsome is what girls are looking for. I'm 5 foot 6 and my girlfriend has been cheating on me with a guy thats 6 foot 2 and built like the side of a house. Please can you give me some advice on how to rebuild my self esteem as it has been totally shattered by this and its something I know I can't change.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (22 May 2006): Hi. I would like to firstly mention something mainly aimed towards the women that men are naturally competitve about EVERYTHING. Being a man myself I know what we are like!.. "Ive got a faster car than you" or "Im better at footy than you" or "Ive got a better looking girlfriend than you" So a fella will be very hurt to find that his girl has cheated on him but even more i think by the fact that hes better looking or whatever as it will have crushed his ego/pride etc. Im a male model myself and sadly very vain which im not proud of it just comes naturally - not being big headed but I would be described as tall, dark and handsome. However! Certainly not big and muscely. I am of a very slim build and although I am good looking I am insecure of how slim I am compared to some very big fellas which i know my girlfriend find attractive. I know how your feeling mate, If my girl went off with some dude that was muscely/bigger and better looking than me I would be devastated.. From a lads point of view try not to take it personally as you are probably making things worse than they seem with your male ego. ALOT of girls also go for personality mainly which i think was forgotten, so maybe it was this reason she went for him. Just dont beat yourself up mate, she isnt worth it remember that!! Go out with your mates, get drunk and go out on the pull! you will find another girl maybe even possibly better than before indefinately, and you will realise you were missing out with this new girl.. peace mate..
A
female
reader, Hopeful +, writes (19 May 2006):
 They also say gentleman prefer blondes.
Some girls like tall, dark and handsome. Others don't.
What this really comes down to is your girlfriend cheated on you which was unfaithful, dishonest and stupid. Does it really matter what the guy looked like?
My friend (who looks like a supermodel) her ex cheated on her with this really ugly girl but the pain of being cheated was bigger than what the girl looked like. Basically it was irrelevent whether he cheated on her with Jennifer Anniston or a hobbit. He cheated. He was in the wrong.
This is NOT your problem, it is your girlfriend's problem. She is the cheater, she is in the wrong, not you and what he looks like really is beside the point.
You can rebuild your self esteem by reminding yourself that it was her that has a problem, not you and you will find yourself someone better who treats you right whilst she will have to live with the fact that she cheated.
Don't let someone else's bad behaviour and poor judgements bring you down. Her cheating is NOT a reflection on you, it is a reflection on HER and that reflection ain't good.
and besides Girls go for all sorts of guys.
The guys I find attractive are different to the guys my friends go for. It's an individual thing.
Every girl has different tastes and likes different guys. Some like guys with dark hair, some like guys with light hair, some like tall guys, some like muscley guys, some like bald guys etc etc etc.
Same way some guys like redhead girls, some like curvy girls, some like girls with tanned skin, some like girls with curly hair etc. It's individual preferences.
I'm sure you are a great guy, attractive, nice and smart. There are lots of girls who would love to have you as a boyfriend so I suggest you go and introduce yourself to them.
Good luck.
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