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male
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*elpme100
writes: Hello, I seriously need advice. A quick fix if possible.My girlfriend asked me to marry her last year and I said that I was not ready but I loved her and would propose soon. She then moved out and in with a group of single girls. She limited contact with me to one phone call a week. I thought she was just trying to pressure me into buying an engagement ring. After a month of heartache and agony I realised that I could not live without her. I bought the ring and proposed and she said yes, then er not just yet a week later. We were together for 3 months and for the first month it was good then she just became distant, took her phone calls on her mobile out of the room, was busy all of the time and received loads of text messages. I think you know what I'm getting at. After countless enquiries about what was going on, where she replied she loved me but was just busy, she finally confessed that when we broke up she met someone else and was seeing him the whole 3 months we were back together at her friends flat. She says she has fallen in love with him but still loves me more and wanted me to forgive her but she refuses to stop seeing him. She continues to blame me for all of this for not proposing sooner. The guy she is seeing is a soldier completely different from me. My head is so confused as I know I can never be with her again and yet I love her so much that I blame myself and can't seem to get angry at her. I also think this guy is a player and I don't want to see her get hurt, but am powerless to do anything. I have broken things off but the thought of him with her is destroying me. I feel so lost and wish I could stop thinking about her. I can't eat or sleep and can't concentrate at work. I was her first boyfriend and when I met her she was so quiet and innocent. I admit that I pushed her to change things about herself which i should not have done, but I was stupid. She says that he accepts her for who she is and does not accept that he loves who she is now and I have always loved her even if she hadn't changed. I just cant believe she was capable of doing this to me. Does anyone have any advice about how to move on from this as I feel that i'm crumbling.
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female
reader, willywombat  +, writes (19 May 2006):
 I think I cannot offer any advice to you other than to get out now and stay away from her before she causes any more heartache. This is a very confused girl. The fact that you got her to change herslef FOR you suggests that you maybe didn't love her enough to accept her the way she was. I wouldn't waste any more time here. Allow your heart to heal and then move on.
xx
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