A
male
age
36-40,
*inVA
writes:I went out with this girl for a year and a half. I really loved her, and I thought, from the way she acted and talked, that she loved me too. About 2 months go we broke up, and afterwords I found out that she had been cheating on me with somone from her work for about 3 months prior to us breaking up. I was destroyed. Recently,I felt like I was getting over it.Tonight I find out that about 2 weeks after we broke up she started hooking up with some guy I know from class. Not the guy she originally cheated on me with. The entire reason i am bringing this issue up is in regards to the fact that I am even thinking about this. She cheated on me yet I still think about her and the news I learned today has got me pissed off yet I can't really understand why. I should be over her, I should be thinking 'fuck her' for cheating me yet I continue to dwell on her and for some reason I feel super pissed that she did this, even though we weren't together, or talking, or seeing each other. She cheated on me, yet I feel hurt that she was hooking up with this guy after we broke up. I don't know what to do. I'm not the type of guy to hook up with a random girl, especially for the purpose of getting over somone else. I value intimate moments as a connection between people who share an intimate bond, so 'hooking up' with somone is not an option. Essentially, I feel betrayed, and I don't know how to handle it, and more importantly, I DONT KNOW WHY! WE BROKE UP BECUASE SHE CHEATED ON ME yet I still think about her!!! Please help me
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (10 December 2008): i exactly understand how you are feeling. I went through the same thing. I worked in a different area and took flights back once a month to be with my fiance. She eventually cheated. She claims theres no one else but her actions are tell tale signs of cheating. the hiding of the cell phone, the sudden times of needing to be home and the so cold cold affection. And the line of its not you its me.You are better off without her and you will be happier soon. spend time with friends and dont jump in to a serious relationship right away. have some time to scope out. And dont take your frustration out on another lady. You will never know she happens to be the one. And things happen for a reason no matter how we attempt to make our way or create our own destiny. - MJ
A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 November 2008): dude, I've been (faithfully) married to the same woman for 16 years and found out yesterday that she's gotten back in contact with her H.S. heart-throb. Plus she can't tell me better than 50/50 which way she's gonna go. Find someone who cares now but don't cry if they leave later. People change.
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A
male
reader, SinVA +, writes (15 November 2008):
SinVA is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for the replies, like somone said I think the person with relationship issues is her since it does seem like she is sleeping around. I just wish I could erase her out of my mind. It sucks that I still think about her even after what she did.
Thanks for your help,
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 November 2008): it's because you still love her..your love is genuine unlike hers..if a guy loves a girl too much it will be really hard or him to let go..same with us girls..
another reason is you haven't found anyone yet..you know, so she can be replaced just like she did to you. your lonely that's why you think about the last person you loved but if you find a girl who is more deserving..for you to love..
xoxo,
just a girl who wants to help :)
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A
female
reader, wendie dee  +, writes (15 November 2008):
 Hi
sorry your'e so upset,it's a long time to be with someone when you're ready for a serious relationship. I honestly don't feel that she felt the same way. Your going to think about her alot, and it's going to take time, but time heals and eventually when you meet the right one, you'll wonder why you felt like this. Let time do it's work, and don,t go back even if you ever get the chance she'll do it again. Lifes to short.
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