A
male
age
36-40,
*agger4
writes:My gf is currently studying abroad in Italy. She gets back in a week (it was just one semester so she will be back on campus here next semester). We were dating before she left and then I suggested we take a break while she's away. When she was in Europe there’s a friend of hers who showed a lot of interest in her and I didn't like him at all. She said that she wouldn't fool around with him if it bothered me that much but at the same time she made me promise not to do anything with a friend of mine who I had hooked up with a few years back. Then a few weeks ago we got back together and I haven't seen her in person yet. Yesterday she told me that she was hanging out with some friends and she was told that while they were both blacked out drunk she had sex with him. She was told this by a friend of his. I've since talked to her in more depth about this and apparently the friend later clarified that he didn't actually see anything... he said that the two of them just went into a room by themselves while at a party, were gone for about 15 mins and then came back out but were really quiet. They were both really drunk and they are good friends so it's not unusual for them to hang out. Also she is saying that she is usually sore after sex but she doesn't recall ever having that soreness the next day. Also he said that he doesn't recall anything out of the ordinary that would lead them to believe that anything happened. Also they weren't disheveled and their clothes weren't messed up at all. Neither of them remembers and neither knows if they used protection. Now I'm supposed to see her in a week and I'm not sure what to do. This is kinda upsetting. I don’t know if anything happened or not. Does it sound like something happened to you guys?
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reader, anonymous, writes (15 December 2009): You asked this question before, and you've already answered it by saying you believe her and that nothing happened. Even if something did happen, you guys were on a break and she was free to do as she pleases.
A
male
reader, dagger4 +, writes (14 December 2009):
dagger4 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionNo need for the hostile tone Aunty BimBim. I personally think that nothing did happen...but I'm the kind of person who over analyzes things so i wanted other people's opinions to either confirm or deny what I thought. Secondly I'm only upset b/c if it did happen then it happened with the ONE guy who she promise me nothing would happen with. Frankly I agree and I'm not taking anyone's word over anyone else's word. All of this information I'm getting from her. And I'm actually looking to stay with her so I'm just trying to sort out all my insecurities so i can do that w/o problems
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A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim  +, writes (14 December 2009):
 Point ONE: you were having a break from each other at the time so IF something did happen, she wasnt cheating.
Point TWo: The person who saw them, saw them disappear for 15 minutes ---- could they perhaps have been having one of those drunken silly conversations that people induldge in sometimes??
Point THREE: nobody saw her with her knickers off, what proof is there they has sex?
Point FOUR: You say they werent disheveled, and that their clothes weren't messed up, how likely is it if somebody who was too drunk to remember having sex, could remember how to put their knickers on straight, or even back on at all.
Point FIVE: Regardless how drunk she was, if she was capable of walking into another room, and out again, and if what normally happens after she has sex, didnt happen well then, you may need to accept her word over the word of some chit stirrer so called friend.
Now, from where I am sitting, either somebody is trying to cause problems or you are looking for a reason to not get back together with her, you decide which it is.
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