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female
,
anonymous
writes: My partner has an ex who constantly texts him says she misses him. This is constantly coming between us. She says he is messing with her head. She lies about him visiting her to cause trouble. She likes to buy him gifts. She won't have anything to do with me and only wants his company. It is causing trouble for us and my kids as we are arguing about her.Hhe would like to keep in touch with her but I feel he is just leading her on. What should we do?
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reader, anonymous, writes (19 September 2005): it's simple why she wants him back & he is on an ego boast that's how he won't cut contact.It's causing trouble how do you know she's lying you can only ask him and he thinks because he's telling you all (?) you can share his problems if i were you i would give him an ultimatum you or her and he must stick to it no contact so he must change his number or any gifts send them back if not you should tell him it's over and stick to it no more chances take care & hope it works out
A
female
reader, charliesgirl +, writes (17 September 2005):
Is there any reason that your partner needs to stay in contact with his ex? Do they have any children together, or any ties?
If there is no good reason that he should stay in touch, other than to placate her feelings, then he really must sever contact with her. You are absolutely right, the longer he responds to what are bascially her attention sseeking behaviour, the more she will imagine that they have a future together. If there is absolutely no truth in her allegations that they have been spending time together, then her behaviour is designed to try and split you apart.
However, it is your partner that should speak to her, as he is her point of contact. If you were to speak to her personally it may inflame what is already a volatile situation. And essentially you want this woman out of your lives, not to worsen the situation. Your partner needs to speak to her, and emphasise that he will be breaking contact with her. Then when she calls him again he must not answer the phone- even consider changing his phone number.
You are his partner now, whilst she is in the past. If he is not prepared to cut contact with this woman to save your relationship, then I would seriously question where his priorities lie, and whether he truly considers their relationship to be over.
Good luck
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reader, pops +, writes (16 September 2005):
You should tell her how her behavior is hurting your feelingsA( his visits she lies about, the gifts she buys him, her not spending time with you, and preferring his company) and Then, DUMP HER ! Really, the only relationship you have with this girl is in your mind. There is no " We ", in what should we do?
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