A
male
age
26-29,
*'brian
writes:I had a girlfriend who we met when she was in a relationship i won her then after few months she dumped me and went back to him,after 9 months she came back stalking me saying im the love of his life and she is still with her boyfriend when i ask why she says i dont want to hurt anyone what should i do
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male
reader, Billy Bathgate  +, writes (10 May 2019):
You should find another girl.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 May 2019): I have to disagree here because I am in the same situation except I am the woman like this story who has two men whom I both love dearly. I have struggled to leave either one because I love and adore both so much I find it impossible too. I hate the situation I'm in I wish it wasn't so. Your girlfriend is unable to make a decision because she is lost like me she loves you both so much she cannot bear the thought of losing either of you. Its a cycle a loop that can be extremely difficult to get out of. If she didn't care truth is she wouldn't bother coming back to you. I know how she feels I really do.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 May 2019): Typo corrections:
"In every instance of this kind of nonsense..."
" I don't patience nor the time for such stupidity!"
PS
She's toying with your emotions and she's enjoying all the attention. She's instigating a fight, and bragging to all her friends about how dumb both you guys are! If you keep this up, she's dead-on right!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 May 2019): Is this a competition, an ego match, or what?
I've never seen any situation in-which two people were fighting over someone, where the one being fought-over was ever worth all the drama!
In ever instance of this kind of nonsense; it was always a soap opera and a steaming pile of cow dung, where some idiot couldn't make up his or her mind between two people.
I don't want anybody who wants somebody else. I would want them even less; if they came to me, did an about-face, and went back to the other person. I'd wash my hands of the whole foolishness. I don't patience or time for such stupidity!
Sir, this is now all about your ego! You kept using the word "won;" as if this is some kind of contest.
You don't love her, and she doesn't love you! This is a property-battle between you and her old-boyfriend; and she is a drama queen feeding on all the drama she is causing. She is a narcissist who gets her twisted narcissistic-supply out of seeing two silly males going at it over her; like she's the top prize in a testosterone competition.
Let her go!!! Man-up and stop playing this adolescent-game fighting over some knuckle-headed female who is obviously playing you two against each other. Let him have her; she's the one making fools of both of you!
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A
female
reader, Plexi  +, writes (7 May 2019):
 HELP HER CHOOSE MY DUMPING HER........She is playing you and you are letting her!! Why? Don't you think you deserve better....a girl who only has eyes for you! If you want to avoid confrontation then just stop taking her calls and answering her texts. Ghost her because she derves that!! Do not let her ruin your self worth and confidence. Dump her!!
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (7 May 2019):
 OP, it's this simple.
Don't settle for a women (or in this case GIRL) who jumps from guy to guy. NOT if you are looking for a serious connection or relationship.
If she will DUMP a guy for you, she will DUMP you for another. If she will cheat to be with you, she will CHEAT on you.
Don't you think you deserve better?
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A
female
reader, Andie's Thoughts  +, writes (7 May 2019):
 I think “stalking” may just be a poor translation of something, but I need you to understand that love and relationships are not about “winning” or “losing” someone. You have not been “defeated” and you can not “win” someone.
This girl is confused and a cheater. She is not the right girl for you. Do not try to “win” people, just be kind and don’t try to date girls who aren’t single.
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A
male
reader, O'brian +, writes (7 May 2019):
O'brian is verified as being by the original poster of the question I never cheated on her with her ex, when i was stalking her she told me about him and i told her i can't share. So after some weeks she came and told me im the one she loves,i did not believe her there after they broke up because she found him cheating so i accepted her. Everything was going good for few months but one day her behavior changed and she told its about time we part ways because she cant see the relationship working, i fought hard but i ended up defeated only later to realize every friend of hers knows am her friend not his guy and she got back with her ex.
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A
male
reader, N91 +, writes (7 May 2019):
 Are you genuinely willing to let this girl discard you and then pick you back up whenever she fancies? If you do then you need to get a grip, you aren’t a doormat so don’t act like one.
Block and move on, simple.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (7 May 2019):
I think your best bet is to tell her that you no longer want any contact and then you block her and cut off all contact.
Otherwise she will go back and forth and back and forth for as long as she can get away with it.
You say you "won her" but what you "won" was a woman who cheated on her past partner to be with you and then dumped you for another guy.
If she comes back to you, she will DUMP you again for another guy or cheat on you.
She isn't very mature or considerate.
ALL she wants is to get male attention and affection from as many men as she can. She DOESN'T CARE who she hurts, despite what she says. Because I BET you the guy before you got hurt, you got hurt, the guy she is with now will get hurt.
FIND yourself a woman of higher stand and quality.
DO NOT go chasing after a woman who has a partner. Find yourself a single one. If a woman will leave a partner for YOU, they will leave YOU for someone else. That is LOGIC.
Chin up. Better luck with the next girl.
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A
female
reader, Andie's Thoughts +, writes (7 May 2019):
Let her go. She’s not a prize to win, OP. I know it hurts, but she needs to choose for herself and you need to move on.
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