A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:so my story begins when i met my ex gf 2 years ago, i was with her for 2 years in a LDR and few months ago she said that she can't handle a gd relationship for now, and needed us to take a break and pause our relationship untill she fixes her life problems, like an addiction to drugs and gramma's death, add to this alot of other things too(and trust me she has alot of them)so she says that we will be ok after that she deals with the problems she's having...but i feel used cz of the things she did to me, i was always there for her in her addiction and everytime she needed meto cut it short she stopped answering my calls, didn't explain the real and clear reason why she left... and after i sent her money so she could leave her house cz she was having problems with her parents, she stopped signing in to her ym... she did that only once 2 thank me for what i did and tell me that she'll give it back once she's in the us...and since than (11/2010) we never talked and she never called me or try to contact me, neither did i (the only way that i can contact her is by leaving her a voice msg on her phone and hope she'll recieve it if she's where she told me she is)she says that her feelings for me won't ever change, and that she'll always love me and that she did that for our owne good...so guys the question is: would you breakup with someone you really love, to protect him from being hurt even if he doesn't wanna breakup with you whatever the reason might be?i told her that whatever the reason might be, i'm ready to help her and be there for her and we can fix the problems of her life and get over them together ... she doesn't have to be alone in it...she still says it's for our goodwould you leave someone you love to protect him from being hurt even if he disagrees and says that the only thing that hurts him is being away from you?
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reader, anonymous, writes (4 January 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionguys i wanna thank you, bernard,cat lady(thank you for all the time you spent on writing all this down,,, i appreciate it so much!) and the anonymous male reader that gave me his exp... thank you all
i know how it is hard for a drug addict to let it go... but love is love.. she gave me alot, and i loved her truely, yet she didn't accept my gift for her(my love)
i was ready to be there,,, but now i think it's time to go.. even if it's with a broken heart and vow, but it's time to let my HEAD control it...
yes you are all right. i won't be able to help her and in fact it's not just that, but she will drown me also
it has been a year, and yet my love for her didn't change,... the stupid kinda love
god!!! i feel so sad for losing the i really love, but i KNOW (and that's by using my head) that our relationship won't work even if she came back, and no matter what the reason might be,,, it won't work out
cz no reason would've made me leave her the way she left me
thank you all! i really appreciate the effort you made to help!
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (4 January 2011): My spouse has many issues that she has been dealing with for 30+ years. Some of these issues have since been identified as mental health issues. After 2 kids and 25 years together, its too late to leave. If I would have known what was in for me all those years ago, I would have thrown in the towel before her first round of counceling sessions. For those of you who will read this and call me every name in the book and tell me otherwise, you have not walked in my shoes and do NOT know what I have gone through. In the end you will have to do what you feel is right in your head and your heart. I find myself wondering what my life would have been like with my girlfriends from many years ago. Signed, Not Very Happy.
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A
female
reader, cat lady  +, writes (4 January 2011):
 Dear young lady, your compassion and fortitude through all this difficulty is an inspiration to us all!
Now, since I am reasonably certain that most other people here will at least try to sound 'tolerant' towards your girlfriend's lifestyle, I'll dispense with that myself and tell you the facts as I know them:
No matter what you hear from rehab centers trying to sell places, the actual cure rate for drug or alcohol addiction is less than two percent! Recidivism is guaranteed in the remaining ninety-eight percent. Do you want a patient or a companion? The only possible excuse I can think of is a long stay in hospital for a serious injury or illness where regular doses of narcotics were given as a matter of medical necessity. That still happens. Outside of that, it's pure self-indulgence and general weakness of character - and usually accompanied by other vices just as bad.
Drug addicts will lie, steal or even far worse crimes to feed their habit and guess who's going to be among the first victims: YOU, the loyal friend the addict thinks won't call the cops on her. Addicts also victimize their own relatives, if they have the chance. You might begin watching whenever she shows up for dinner at your house in case she's lifted your silverware. (have you noticed the price of silver has skyrocketed?)
I'm sorry to put it this way, lady, but you can do without any affections from that one, or anything she has to offer that'll keep her in your life. This is a person drowning that you're trying to save and who will only pull you down with her instead of helping herself. The minute that drugs showed up in that relationship was the time to end it absolutely. Cut your losses and consider yourself lucky this girl and her druggie friends (about whom you will know nothing but who always exist....) haven't broken into your house already.
She has shown you one decent instinct: breaking up your relationship so she can take care of her own problems. Accept that gift of freedom and safety from her. She might be one of that two percent and get well, but I wouldn't bet my bank account on that if I were you.
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