A
male
age
36-40,
*mbassadeur Koko
writes:Two years back, I had a girl friend whom I loved so much. She had all the qualities I would need in a woman. I love her and did everything in my capacity to make her happy. We co-habited for two years in Kampala Uganda during my studies. When I returned to South Sudan, I left her behind expecting to prepare a home ready for us. When I was leaving kampala for Yambio she burst into tears and I too shed tears because we were going to miss each other. She is a Ugandan and her mum works in Juba the capital of South Sudan. She asked me to send for her transport so that she could join her mum in Juba and I helped her. The day she was departing from Kampala to Juba we talked very well and she promised when she reached Juba she would call me so that I could get her new number. I waited for three days expecting her calls but she never called. I was very worried that she might have had an accident or she never made it to Juba, so I started searching for contacts that would link us. I thought of checking her email to find out if she might have saved her mother's contact information there. I did check her email, only to find out in her inbox that she had started dating her fellow Ugandan man based in Iraq as a soldier by exchanges of love messages. I learnt that they met over facebook and they had not taken long. Finally I got a message in her inbox that she had sent to that man giving him her new number. I was so annoyed and crazy. I got her new number. When I called her she was surprised and she asked me "who gave you my number?" I told her I managed out of love and curiosity. Then we talked. I never told her what I had discovered. After two days of conversation I then asked her if I was the only man in her life and she told me yes. Then I asked her what about this man you are communicating within your email? Then she got annoyed and started quarreling. She asked me to leave her alone and never call her back again. I loved her and I told her, "Despite everything I still love you and all that I need is to accept your mistake and appologize." She told me "it is over". I met her in Juba on one of my journeys there and asked her why she did this. She told me the reason was her mother never accepted our relationship because I was a foreigner, I am short and she fears we would give birth to short children and I was financially poor. Today, after registering progress in life, she keeps sending me text messages saying she wants to come to Yambio where I live now to do some business. Her mum too called me and said she would like her to come over to Yambio. I refused but she keeps asking me. She also helped me become who I am today so I should not be unfair to her. What do you think guys, does this girl need me back for real? What would you say if you were to say something about this?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Capri2  +, writes (9 April 2011):
And you will keep feelings for her. But you know this relationship could never work after all she did to you. And trying to be together will make no good to her nor to you. You have to move on, that's all.
A
male
reader, Ambassadeur Koko +, writes (9 April 2011):
Ambassadeur Koko is verified as being by the original poster of the question They are still together. Some days back she texted me and said she no longer need the guy. But all in all, I loved her but what she did to me turned me off from her completely. The desperate love I had for her, trust and affection turned into hatred and disappointment. I have ever thought of bringing her back but thinking off all the betrayal she gave me makes me more annoyed with her. I think this relationship can't work any more, though I some time feel something for her.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 April 2011): I would say she and her mother are after money, I know that's harsh but now you are getting somewhere in life your Ex wants you back!
Its up to you if you want to meet but if you do (which I wouldnt advise) I would guard your heart and your wallet.She has proved she isn't trustworthy and sure doesn't deserve you.
I am sure you will meet a girl one day soon who will love you for you rather than what you have.
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A
female
reader, Naley1289  +, writes (7 April 2011):
 I don't know. It doesn't sound to me like a good idea. If her mom didn't accept you and she was willing to listen to her so quickly that's not a good thing but people make mistakes and sometimes learn from them. Is she with this guy? I know you still love her but your feelings aside for two seconds and try to think rationally. If a friend told you this story, what would you tell them? You might find your answer closer than you think, you know? But give it a shot. Why not? If she messes up again then you know to let her go. What's meant to be will happen eventually ... Hope I helped you!
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A
male
reader, Capri2 +, writes (7 April 2011):
She had the chance to choose between you and the other guy. And you already know what she did. So her decision is made and I don't think it's a decision she can change now. I mean, where do you stand if she is choosing you for you financial status? Of course she was in her own right to choose you or not, for whatever reason. But once that decision made it would be very unfair to you trying to change it.I would tell her I can be her friend is she needs someone to talk to. But nothing else. She should find support in the guy she've chosen over you.
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