A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I met the girl two years ago.We reconnected over the phone a year later, which eventually developed into a long distance relationship. We fell pretty hard for one another and took frequent trips back and forth from our home states. As we both saw a future in what we had, we decided it was time to close the distance. Considering that she had finally reconnected with family after living years without one, after 9 months, I decided to move there.Within the first three weeks, she cheated on me.Became almost a different person entirely.We worked past it and chalked it up to her being nervous about the situation (a terrible excuse) and eventually things were pretty good. However, she ended up breaking up with me constantly over the smallest things. Sometimes denying me contact for over a week.I'm fairly self-deprecating, so when I say that this may be the first time I haven't made a SINGLE mistake in a relationship ever, please believe me. I've been a Grade-A boyfriend. Her issues with me seem to stem from her own guilt complex/feeling trapped? I just want a girlfriend who cares enough to pick up the phone and go out with me on a Friday night. I feel like I moved here for nothing. Though I assure you, she had put up a VERY convincing front prior to my moving out here. There wasn't a friend or family member who thought I was making a bad decision.I've been fighting to get her back for a month and a half now. She seems to come back temporarily to give me a sign of hope and then walk out again. We got a dog together, decorated my apartment together. Pretty much everything here reminds me of her.So what do I do?Do I give up on her?What happened?I'm not exactly in the "Hey! Let's go make new friends and start a new life" mood with these conditions.And home/friends/family are 1000 miles away.
View related questions:
broke up, cheated on me, long distance, trapped Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (19 October 2009): I'm sorry to say, this girl sounds like she's just messing with your head. If she "cheated" on you and you found out, it's likely she's been doing this for awhile. From my experience girls cheat if they aren't satisfied with the person they're with, or if they aren't ready for a committed relationship and still want to play the field. Get the f out of dodge man, good luck.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 October 2009): Well you know what at least you have one thing out of this relationship that worth having and that is your dog.
Redecorate and make a go of it, a part of you wanted to move from home, so now find yourself.
Shes the past and she isnt worth having, its daunting but also liberating.
Youll be fine but give yourself time.
...............................
A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (8 October 2009):
 So what do I do?
Either pack up and move home or re-decorate, take one room at a time and get "rid" of her influence.
Do I give up on her?
What Else can you do? She gave up on you a LONG time ago.
What happened?
I think she never took the relationship as serious as you did, she should NEVER have agreed to you moving out there with her. I think to her it was more like a fantasy then real. I'm NOT trying to make excuses for her, there are none. I wouldn't be surprised if she has cheated on you before you moved there as well, like I said I don't think she really took the relationship serious.
I'm not exactly in the "Hey! Let's go make new friends and start a new life" mood with these conditions.
I think it is totally OK for you to be upset about the way she treated you and your relationship, but don't wallow in it. It will not do you any good. If you are working or going to school start looking for people to hang out with. Pick up a hobby, something to get you out of the apartment.
And home/friends/family are 1000 miles away.
You can't move home? Is that out of the question? Sometimes shit happens, you need to let it go and move on. I know it sound easier then it really is, but you need to focus on you. Forget about her.
I'm sorry she turned out to be something else then what she projected to you, but there are plenty of girls out there who will treat you right.
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (8 October 2009): I know how you feel, I was in a similar situation about 5 years ago. To put it simply, her actions have shown that she doesn't respect or value you. It's time to cut your losses, my friend.
...............................
|
