A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi all,The issue is that I have friend. We are just friends. She comes to me to help her in her course work.I give her some help. One day, She then told me that she was ill and asked if I could lend her some money. Naturally, I lent her the money. I waited for about a month. When she didn’t pay back, I reminded her. She then started to avoid me. We had an appointment to meet. Twice she did not turn up. She found one excuse or another. During our last appointment, she didn’t turn up. So I sent her a harsh text and e-mail that she should drop the money and document that I lent her with a secretary in the office that I was about to leave the office. Within about 15 mins she turned up with the money and documents I lent her saying that she had a meeting and that she had to leave for another meeting. I remarked that she should have called,text or e-mailed me that she would not be able to turn up. She said she was sorry. I said thanks and wished her best of luck. I told her that I will be travelling the next week.Two weeks later, she sent me an e-mail that she has gotten high grades in the work that I helped her with and that she may need more help. I have not replied her for about a month. Right now I think I have 3 options:1) To reply and say that I was busy and wish her all the best of luck2) To ignore her mail and tell her I was busy when next I see her in about 4 months time3) To ignore and cut off from herPls can someone advise on what will be the right option?
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reader, anonymous, writes (25 April 2009): Don't lend her any more money mate.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 April 2009): None of the above!
You say "Well done - I'm very pleased I was able to help you, but there will be no more money from me as you do not pay back as agreed" or words to that effect. By all means help with her coursework if you wish to do so, but no financial help. Lending money to friends - in particular - is never a good idea. Many friendships have been destroyed thus.
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A
female
reader, Mikados are lush! +, writes (25 April 2009):
 I would opt for option 1. But never lend anyone money! I made that mistake before, and it took pretty much a year to get it back and a lot of stress! It wrecks friendships big time. If she continues to be a messer, letting you down, I would then let the friendship go personally.xxxxxxxxx
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