A
male
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*ecentguy1
writes:Okay, I need help big-time. My ex and I are really done. I know it. I feel it. Here is my dilemma. I broke it off last June 1st. She wasn't sure how she felt about us etc...She had been saying that off and on for the last year. I was tired of it, and she's been treating me as if I didn't matter. So, when I ended it, she cried, we spent the next day together feeling closer than ever. When I came back from the weekend, she asked me to dinner. Then, like that, she disappeared. I tried to call her once a week, but nothing. Finally, I called her work and asked her to dinner. She agreed, and said she'd let me know the next day. Sure enough, she blew it off. Late night at work she said. Okay, I sent her an e-mail apologizing for how I’ve hurt her, let her down etc...And that I wish I could undo it. She wrote back, and said '"change is hard, we need to get to a place where we are both happy with ourselves, and we were a team for so long we got lost in that. And we can/will meet up and catch up, but right now it's too soon. She ended by saying "I’ll be in touch soon"... (Oh, I have some stuff of hers, which I offered in my e-mail to send to her, but she didn't mention it at all)...So, it's been 8 weeks since....and I feel really abandoned, and upset. We were together 5 yrs, and she loved me intensely initially...should I contact her? Is she missing me? Has she moved on? Or should I wait to hear from her? And what about the stuff at my house...? Should I send it back??Sorry about the long e-mail, I just need some honest advice....Thanks!!!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 September 2007): You broke off a relationship because she was unsure of how she felt about you & she treated you like you did not matter. Now you expect her to have a huge reaction? She was upset the next day but she quickly got over it or had soemone else on the side the whole time..or quickly met another guy. I wouldn't worry about it. You left her, so you obviously wanted this.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 September 2007): Has she been through anything to make her like this? if not then I think she really does want to move on but still loves you so her emotions are conflicted. I think you should for one last time, tell her to come back for real this time or it's over for good, she can't come back after that. If she says no, then it's over for good and YOU need to move on. GD luck
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 September 2007): hay hunni! sounds like ur in the same place as me right now me n my x broke up still metting up tho for drinks dinner and sex but i cant seem to let go! my advice to u is if u can cut her out as it hurts so much more doing it the way i am! as i no im the idot in the end meeting him when i no surly its a botty call and nothing more! what id do is go out with ur mates have fun maybe have a weekend away dont contact her as ull look like ur wanting her and shell play more games with u! hope u are ok tho! i no its sh*t but its all a big game at the end of the day were just the ones who stick around to be hurt! xxx
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A
female
reader, Melanne  +, writes (17 September 2007):
 Hi I can hear your hurt and frustration. It's not easy breaking up with someone it's almost like a bereavement and you have to go through the process of accepting it is over and that person has gone from your life. To prolong the process is to prolong the agony of what you are already going through.
It sounds like your partner is playing head games with you and you need to make the decision that this isnt going to work because you would be together now if it was. I'm sorry if this seems harsh but, the only way forward is to accept what has gone and move on. You can remember the good times you shared. Though at the moment you can probably only think of the bad one day the good memories will come and you will find someone else and settle down, but right now you need to come to terms with this and work through your feelings.
You have done the right thing by writing to us and that's a very brave and courageous thing to do. It is true time is the greatest healer and at the moment you need to take each day as it comes. The main thing is you accept things the way they are and see things realistically. I hope that this helps.
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