A
male
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:hi, i'm a 43 year old divorced male in a subsequent relationship of 7 years. i have 3 children from my previous marriage and a 5 year old daughter from my current relationship. i think i am going crazy as there is nobody to talk to. i need your help? i am unhappy with my current partner and believe she should make more effort in our relationship.i will explain: i am lucky enough to have an equal share of my children with my ex wife and my kids and current partner all get on really well, with the exception of some ocassional bullying from my partner with my 7 year old daughter.i work from home, normally early mornings (5.00am+) my partner works part time evenings, just a few hours each night. ie 7.00pm -10.00pm.one problem is that my partner insists on sleeping long hours. it does not matter what time she goes to bed she will still sleep in. I am writing this at 09.45am and she's still sleeping!! Where we live we have 12 weeks summer holidays for kids and my partner slept in until 11.00am vitually every morning. consequently i am left holding the kid/s.we have a nice life and go out (daytime) regularly for coffee's, lunch or shopping for my partner.My partner takes responsibility for all washing and ironing, we share cleaning and I prepare all food (not processed)to suit my family's pallet. My partner does not drive so i taxi everybody everywhere. my days are chaotic, as i run 2 businesses, take my children tennis training everyday and do all the other things as well.my partner is of eastern european origin and has a dubious past in the sex industry which i am fully aware of.The problem is that although we have regular sex, it has become dull and uninteresting. i have tried everything. meals out, relaxation time, hot baths. massages, patience and so on. none of which changes or encourages her to change. i am at the end of my patience. i try to talk to her to no avail. she was not always this way. i have tried to find the catalist and i am 100% sure she is not cheating. she just believes that what we have is enough. unfortunately for me it is not. i am a passionate, giving, caring and horny male which is wasted on this woman.i am not perfect. but i do not abuse my partner either phisically or emotionally, i drink only ocassionaly, i don't cheat and i dont bring up our past exploits.i am not looking for the perfect solution, but i need to know what you and others think? i have tried to be as unbiased as possible. i need your advice?regards
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reader, anonymous, writes (1 November 2010): Counseling would likely help but in the absence of that here is my advice. Could she be a little depressed. Sleeping late and lack of sex drive could signal this. Or is she just lazy? It's hard to know from what you say. She sounds more like a lodger then a wife. You say you've talked to her. You need to push harder. Ask her for more help with the kids. Tell her you can't do it alone. Ask her if she is happy. And if not, tell her she needs to tell you whats wrong so you can work through it. Ask her if she has noticed a change in your relationship, tell her you love her but explain what you're feeling.
A
female
reader, Sravs  +, writes (1 November 2010):
Both of you plz go and attend any councelling. I think its better.
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