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male
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anonymous
writes: I have been involved with a girl at work for a few months now, and she has a live-in boyfriend. The two of them have a little girl.Some days she will openly flirt with me and look into my eyes, no problems. Yet on other days she will talk to me but does not look directly into my eyes. On the days she avoids making eye contact, she will look in a different direction as we talk, sort of like she is avoiding looking at me for some reason.In the past, she has avoided looking into my eyes when she realized we were getting too close for her liking, or when I have expressed my feelings for her.I do not know if she avoids looking at me some times because our co-workers are nearby or not.I was wondering if anyone else has ever been in this situation and what it means when she talks to me but doesn't look into my eyes at all. And this usually goes on for the entire day, or a few days in a row.Please keep in mind, there are also days where we do exchange a lot of meaningful eye contact and glances.
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female
reader, angle_eyes10 +, writes (6 December 2005):
hay!im sorry you feel so muddled, especially when at work. what has happened between you two? has there been any kissing, sexual touching or sex at all? or are the meaningfull looks the only thing. As im not sure, ill try to answer in two seperate parts for you1) sex or kissing.ok first of all you say shes with someone, whome she has a child with. If sex has taken place or the occasional kiss, then i doubt she is really happy with her current partner. She may be looking for some outside fun, and where better for her to start looking than in work, where she is the majority of her time. If this is the case she may be only looking for some fun on the side, which may account for her looking away from you. it's her subconcious body language saying shes not interested in you in a loving way, more of a lets just have some fun, without anyone knowing. sex or fun in the workplace is never a good thing. it may seem great at first, because your body is experiancing a huge rush, but when it finishes, you still have to work within the same enviroment as eachother, which could cause you both to feel awkard, which may cause your work levels to fall. If she does really like you more than sex, (which im unsure of and doubt) then she needs to finish with her partner before anything else happens, as it's not fair on anyone for cheating to take place, especially for the child.2) just the glances.flitration in the work place has been proven to be a good thing. it encourages people to go to work and increses the turn over (apparently) there is no harm in imagining you being with somone intimately, as a fantasy. it's a human reaction to be attracted to the opposite sex, even if you are with someone. maybe this explains why sometimes she gazes into your eyes, then on days she cant look at you. she may be embaressed about what she has been thinking about. (her fantasy) however, if she does have a fantasy which involves you, this does not mean that she is unhappy with her partner and would gladly run off into the sunset with you.at the end of the day, the ball is in her corner. she knows you like her, as you have stated that you told her "your feelings" my advice is to let go for now. enjoy the looks and the smiles, but if she still remains with her partner, then that in itself shows shes not ready to leave. perhaps you need to relax a bit more in work and stop worrying if she wants you more than what she may do. hope this helps, keep me updated, angel.x
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 December 2005): that means she's shy
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A
reader, Rebecca Batchelor +, writes (6 December 2005):
 If all you have been doing is exchanging a few looks, then you aren't involved with her at all.
This is very simple to answer...stop trying to work out what it means if she doesn't look at you properly. You want her to like you but she is involved with someone else and has a child. That means she is off limits.
Use all that energy you are employing trying to figure her out into finding someone single and available.
Good luck.
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