A
male
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:Hi, I'm 14, about to be a freshman in high school, and I have a problem. I've been best friends with this girl for longer than I can remember. Last week, our school had the end-of-year Spring Fling (a dance). We went together as friends. When I went to pick her up, though, she was standing in her living room and she looked beautiful in her dress. I was speechless and later that night, my mom told me it's because I finally see her as a girl.When we got to the dance, my hand touched hers and she smiled at me. Then the DJ put on a slow song. I felt like my heart was going to pound out of my chest but I could think of nothing more than what was going on inside my head; I was screaming at myself to kiss her. I started leaning in, hoping she wouldn't freak, and she didn't. She actually started leaning in, too!As soon as as our lips touched, though, she asked me what was in my pocket. I was confused and looked down and noticed the most embarrasing thing ever: I had gotten hard. She looked speechless for a second and blinked twice at me and she almost looked sad for me. Not like disappointed but like she cared but just couldn't say it. I was too humiliated, though, so I left before she could say anything.I haven't talked to her since the dance. I talked to my dad about it after I got over how embarrassing that talk would be and he told me it's normal. That my best friend really is turning into a beautiful young woman and she's very smart and polite and that I should talk to her and see where it goes from there. I've always trusted my dad's judgement, but if he's wrong for once? Should I just talk to her?
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male
reader, hdell +, writes (29 June 2009):
She was trying to be funny. She was referring to the old gag in which the girl asks the fellow "Is that a gun in your pocket or are you just glad to see me?"
A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 May 2009): thats ok dear dont be embarresed like the others said she should feel honoured that happened. dont be shy talk to her! x
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A
female
reader, AdviceGiverandReceiver  +, writes (19 May 2009):
Erections are normal. My ex and I made out and he got a hard on. I was really happy tbh because even though I wasn't going to go further at that moment, he made me feel appreciated lol
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A
male
reader, Chaddles  +, writes (19 May 2009):
Haha, GoGreen's reply made me laugh. She SHOULD be honoured dude. And this is coming from a guy who gets an erection just from seeing my GF. But I'm single at the mo. So, can't tell any tales.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 May 2009): I want to say thank you to all the responders. I actually didn't think I would get this much advice, but they all point toward me just talking to her about it. Which I already did and now, I have a girlfriend. =DShe said that before I left, she was going to say that she was feeling tingles between her thighs and wasn't sure what was happening to her, either. We're not even talking about sex right now. It's like the farthest thing from our minds, but we are kissing more and holding hands.I am very happy and if I can help it, I'm not letting her go for the whole world.Thanks again! =]
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 May 2009): Dont worry about it! She probably felt silly for asking, and that probably why she had that expression immediately after. She knew what it was, but she spoke just a bit too soon.
From a girls perspective:
My ex and I made out whenever we got time alone. After 4 months of making out all the time, I never once noticed when he got and erection. At one point he asked me if I noticed. I asked "noticed what?" but then I felt silly. Often girls minds are elsewheree in a kiss than what your penis is doing--shocker, right? Hahaha.
Really, the girl should be honored. This is the way the male body is meant to work, so she must be doing something right! ;-) When my ex finally asked me about it I realized that he wanted me the same way I wanted him and there was physical proof! :-D
Talk to her. If she's mature enough to be in a relationship with a guy, then she should accept that his body reacts differently to "stimulation" than hers does.
Good luck!
-GG
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 May 2009): Yes, of course you should talk to her! Silence on your part could easily send the wrong message. She may not understand why you left -- she might be thinking that she did something to offend you, and you wouldn't want her thinking that, right?
If she doesn't know it yet, she'll soon learn that what happened to you happens to every teenage guy, and often. She might even have the right frame of mind to treat it as a compliment.
Ya, it's embarrassing. Too bad. Suck it up and talk to her. You might not even have to explain anything, but be prepared to have as mature chat about it as you can manage if she does want to talk about it. But if you want any chance at all with someone who sounds like a great catch, you gotta call her.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 May 2009): Don't be embaressed. You arn't the first to experience this and you won't be the last i can assure you. From what you have told us i think this girl sounds lovely and i doubt she would judge you. She probably felt a little awkward or embaressed herself and unsure of how to proceed. I'm positive if you spoke to her she would be fine. Many girls are understanding of the problem.
If I'm perfectly honest, she may not have even known about the whole thing or how common it actually is. Make sure she understands it was involuntary and you weren't thinking anything naughty about her. She may have jumped to that conclusion, but just reassure her that you didn't mean for it to happen and didn't mean to cause her any offense.
The fact she leaned in as well could mean she really liked you as well. Also if she got so dolled up so to speak, she could have been doing it to impress you. She was likely hoping for the opportunity to arise where you two could finally get some spark between you realized.
Hopefully it will all work out for you. If things go badly, remember it will all blow over with time! She is your best friend and i'm sure nothing will change.
Good luck!
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A
male
reader, MyDestiny +, writes (18 May 2009):
 Man...i understand yu, im in the same position as you so i know these things really well. I'm 14 and about to be a freshman, so i know these things happen all the time..
im proud of you man.props to yu for leaning in for th kiss, that was a really smoth..
And yur erection, it may have been a lil ebarassing, but its normal bro, dont worry about it, every guy gets it so it's really not such a big deal.
and take yur dad's advice...the best thing you should have done was talk to her..its not some thing to be overly embarassed about..you should've just went somewhere for a good 30 sec and let it lay down..then got bak to the dance floor...
but now yu just need to talk to her..she was yur friend and now yur potential girlfreind..everything will be alright..
i hope for the best for yu man...message me or anything if yu wwant, keep me posted on what happens
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