A
male
age
41-50,
*ikew
writes:Ok, here it goes.I was with my ex for 1.5 years. I met her in Florida since I am down here for grad school. We live together currently. When I first dated her I found out she had a son. No big deal, he was at her dads. After about half a year he came to live with us permanently. No big deal. I let it happen. About two weeks ago (almost a year after her son came) she decided to break up with me. She said she didn't see a future and did not want to move all her stuff with me when I found a job since she already did that once with her previous ex and it did not turn out well. She also mentioned some other minor stuff that bothered her...for instance...that I wasn't paying enough attention to her son. Now, I have about a month to go and we still live together. We share a room still. No sex anymore. She says she still likes me, but she also likes another guy now. She says this other guy is not better than me, just different. I feel it is pure infatuation and I feel that no one will be as good to her as I am. Of course I am jealous to no end and I do not want to lose her. I am still completely in love with her and we still have a great time when we are together, but then she goes on to talk to this other guy and stay at his place for a bit and I am overcome with pain. I am trying to deal with this and somewhere, somehow I think it will all still work out.. I am still being really nice to her, but getting little in return. Is it ok to be good to her? It's just my personality. Also, is it a waste to try and chase after her at this point? I am trying to prove to her that I am better than she thought. She agrees that I am much better and that if I acted the way I do now she would not have broken up with me. But she feels I am acting and will revert in a month or so...I don't know how else to prove it except to keep being myself around her and hoping she sees it? She is someone I could see myself spending the rest of my life with. I don't know, I am a little confused at a bad part in my life (need to finish a thesis this semester and can't seem to focus on it).Any help? Anyone been in a similar situation? I do not have the option of moving out until I graduate.
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female
reader, TT  +, writes (11 April 2008):
 Listen, all i can say is your girl sounds to me like she doesn't know what she wants in her life. A son from a previous relationship, shipped all her love to you, and now she has a new love interest? I think the girl is confused. The fact that she still shares your bed tells me for SURE that she has massive feelings still there....she probably wants you to coax her. In fact it seems very much like that in what you write.....she has somehow manipulated a situation so that you will prove to her how much you love her.
You do love her....and i honestly believe she knows that....she just wants her to have her cake and eat it too. I understand your university situation, but i think you're putting up with bullshit by letting her come home to you after being out with this other guy. Also, in terms of that ripping you up?....girls are head Effer uppers!!..She's clearly doing it so you will beg her back.
I think what you have to do, is indeed beg her back. Not for loss of your manhood or dignity....but for the fact that this girl won't see how much you love her any other way. I think it is her with the issues.
I am a female!!! I know!!!
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