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Shall I take any further steps to win him over?

Tagged as: Big Questions, Dating, The ex-factor, Three is a crowd, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (11 November 2010) 1 Answers - (Newest, 11 November 2010)
A female India age 30-35, *ood writes:

hi..so here i am..one of the most active, outgoing, attractive (according to many), intelligent gals in my college...involved in robotics projects, alumni affairs, dance clubs etc in the campus..rubbing shoulders and working at par with guys. However , sadly i am also among those who get proposed by several random people..but NO WAY the one they look for !

To be frank..i have never actually felt the need to be in a relationship !

in my school days i got a couple of proposals..but that time i said a strict 'no' as i was busy with competitive exam preparations and also the ones who aproached wernt of that good level...

in my 1st year i got proposed by a guy in college..but i didnt accept because i simply felt it wont work between us !

soon after i got proposed by one of my closest friends..this time i told myself : "enough is enough..shut up and accept him ! no-one can care for you the way he does..".so i listened to my brain and said 'yes'..only to realise i couldnt have been more wrong ! :-( frankly this guy turned out to be soooo immature ! he didnt know what to say and what not to say...and given the kind gal i am...i wont ever tolerate such behaviour ! so i snapped it off !

i soon plunged into all sorts of activities..kept myself busy..i was happy...until suddenly i realised i was developing soft corners for another guy (say C)!!

now it wsnt that 'sudden' either !! this guy C seemed to have suported my ex (say E) a lot when i had broken off with him...however once soon after our break-up E was hospitalised wid illness and that time i was the one who was maximum in touch with him !! so den C somehow felt i wasnt that bad ;-) and started behaving very sweetly with me...calling me whenever we would come across each other ..chatting with me on net throughout the vacation..etc

now this C ws a friend of E...so i asked E(now a good friend of mine) to help me out..however this idiot C told him that he wasnt mentally prepared for a relationship yet ! that he wasnt intrested in getting into comitment with gals right now !! :-(

i was heartbroken.

i plunged back into stuffs..but this time i really felt it was dificult to forget C and remain engaged !

it has always happend with me !! not only E or the previous guys i talked about..but several others had also proposed me..but i simply didnt like the idea of going around with someone just for the heck of it !

i have always been looking for THE MAN..and somehow i felt (and still strongly feel) C is that very man for me :'-)

but what should i do ? shall i leave him totally? shall i take any further steps to win over him(i'm not quite expert in it..you see..its always the other gender aproaching me..so i dunno what to do) .

also why is it that when it comes to works and management, gals like me excel at working with boys..while when it comes to having a boyfriend the useless dumb inactive 'babes' hang around the same boys?? is it the lack of maturity between the two genders of opposite sex?????

View related questions: affair, at work, engaged, heartbroken, immature, my ex

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A female reader, aunt honesty Ireland +, writes (11 November 2010):

aunt honesty agony aunthi its funny how you have all these guys fall at your feet but the one that you want is not ready for a relationship. Well if am honest with you i think it would be better if you gave this guy some space, he stated he is not ready for a commitment therefore dont push him or you will just push him away from you, instead try and maintain a friendship with him, tell him you would like to be friends and have a platonic friendship for a while, this is a good basis to a relationship. Just take things slowely dont rush in to anything.

goodluck.

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