A
male
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anonymous
writes:My ex g\f finished relationship about 4 months ago. She doesn't want be back but still likes to contact me every few weeks to say hi and how are you. Two weeks ago she wrote but i haven't replied because being in touch hurts me.Shall I just not respond? or respond with a few friendly lines?. I don't want to say 'go away' as i want to look like i am not hurting.What shall i do?cheers for help Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (2 August 2008): Well done, I really hope things get better for you hun. Take care xx
A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 August 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks Folks.
I went for the generic, life is good type of reply. Kept it short and neutral
Much more powerful that not replying, it looks to her that
I don't really care much on even though i am dying inside
thanks again
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A
female
reader, lavhez +, writes (30 July 2008):
 I am in the same situation,(for 9months now)
really wot u will learn is that it will stop hurting in time.
However when they call u crying and sayin they love u but change their minds the next day then thats the best time to ignor them. Be friends with her if you can and never let some one pull u down to a level of rudness, and let that u havnt wrote back yet is gud, if she writes again then write back always say how gud ur life is. If she was over u then she would not be writting good luck.
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A
male
reader, Shipwreckd  +, writes (30 July 2008):
 "...i haven't replied because being in touch hurts me."Enough said. If you're not ready to talk to her, then don't. Equally, I don't believe that you should give her any false expectations by writing back to her right now. The period after a breakup is always difficult. I think Jess said it really well with replying to your ex, "I would like to be friends in the future but I think it would be best if we had a bit of space from each other for a while, to make it easier for the friendship to work." This way you're not saying, "go away." You're saying, "I need my space to make things right for me." You are no longer obliged to care whether she (your ex) thinks that you're hurting or not. You are your own person. Have respect for that! You're trying to get "you" back on track. Don't be your own obstacle. Too many people do that. (I know because I'm one of them!)Good luck!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 July 2008): Well, it is a bit of a difficult one! I was going to say it would be best if you just told her you want to end contact because it hurts, if you don't want her to know that you are hurting then I suggest you say something like "I would like to be friends in the future but I think it would be best if we had a bit of space from each other for a while, to make it easier for the friendship to work."
Alternatively, why don't you respond now, say sorry you haven't been in touch you've just been very busy. Don't say much else and then when ever she writes to you or contacts you, you can give short, friendly responses with the excuse that you are very busy these days. This will also seem that she is no longer your priority anymore and you are not hurting from being apart from her.
Whatever you decide to do, I hope everything gets better for you. It won't hurt this much forever. Good luck hun xxx
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