A
female
age
36-40,
*izzle
writes:Iv been with my boyfriend for almost 7 months, moved cities to be with him ( I live on my own, he still lives at home. We are 22 and 24). Before the relationship became official, I saw him texting his ex. I told him im not comfortable with whomever im with talking to their ex's because it usually means trouble and in my opinion the past is the past. I said I wouldnt be moving unless he stops talking to her (I gave him a choice..not like I forced him to do anything). So he said he promised he would. About 5 months later, when I was moved, I caught him texting his ex to meet up with her because she was in town. I was furious. After a few days of cooling off, he made a poor attempt at saying sorry. I lost alot of trust for him because of this. He lies to me about alot of little things such as where he met the girls he talks to on msn (Apparently he met them all in highschool but most are 17-19...I know he started talking to them on a dating website). He also lied to me about visiting his old dating profile about a week ago. I was typing a website into his laptops url and the history of his searchings came up. I casually hinted about it, and he said hes never been on in months and months. When confronted...he supposedly forgot he was even on. I also noticed he still looks at his ex girlfriend on facebook alot. Because iv been burned alot in the past, and because he betrayed my trust by secretly saying he was going to meet up with his ex, I worry about everything he does now and it makes me feel crazy. Do I end it or take a break? For one, I dont see a happy future with a man that lies all the time, and I dont see a relationship with no trust. Thing is, I love him dearly, and im afraid to break it off because then im in this big new city all by myself since I left my friends back in my old town.Any advie? (Sorry for the novel!)
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male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (26 February 2010):
He said he would end contact. He didn't. He said it again. He didn't. He has gone to his own dating profile that he said he hadn't visited. He then said he had 'forgotten'. He also looks at his ex on facebook a lot. When you read back your post, you realize that this guy is really, really untrustworthy. Now I know you're afraid to break it off because you're afraid of being alone, but it's better to be alone in a city where you can start over with new friends, than to stay with a guy who so clearly doesn't care about how you feel at all. You do not need a guy like this in your life, because far from add to it, he will just continue to lie before he ruins it for you. Then you will be alone in a big city anyway, but with even more of a broken heart. Don't be afraid. This is now your moment to step back out there, join classes, start some hobbies (dancing or something like that) where you can meet new and better people you can have fun with. Be brave, there is a world out there and it's much better than being lied to by a man who doesn't care.
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