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anonymous
writes: Well this is a long story and I am so confused about it I thought I would get some advise out there before I go get some counselling. My wife and I have been married for over 10 years now. She and I have always had a very intense sexual relationship. Once we got married several years later we got into porn together and enjoyed it. We then got into toys for her and we both enjoyed it. Well at a party with a bunch of friends one of my friends started flirting with her. Kind of wierd but I liked it. It aroused me to watch her having so much fun. She asked me at this time if I was OK with this guy hitting on her. I joked and said something like "hey as long as I get to watch"... After some more drinks and dancing we decided to go home. Well this friend of mine asked for a ride home. We walked arm and arm together to the car laughing and singing and having a good time. Well when we got into the car my wife was in the passenger side and my friend was in the back seat. As soon as we got into the car she reached back and put her hand on his knee and she put the other hand on my lap telling each of us she had such a good time. My friend took her hand and put it on his crotch where she kept it there for most of the ride home. I decided to pull over. I pulled over and started making out with her. I started taking her clothes off in which she helped. We both went down on her and it got pretty heated. As soon as I was ready to fuck her brains out she said wait and she wasn't sure she wanted this to happen. Total turn off and it ended right there. I drove the rest of the way home frustrated but respectful to her. Well many years passed as we fantasized about that night. After several years went by we went to another party where my same friend was there. After some innocent flirting went on we ended up at our house for some more drinks. All of a sudden my wife disappeared into the bedroom. My friend and I went looking for her only to find her lying in bed completely naked. I'm thinking she wants this to happen so we both strip down naked and we take her. Weird thing is, she would be in and out of participating. She would grab me and pull me towards her and then she would be motionless. After awhile I could not stand that she was in and out of participating. I stopped everything and said I tried to talk to her. She would not make complete sentences so I told my friend this wasn't working for me. Well again my wife and I talked about this and believe me we have had many passionate nights whispering into her ear what we did to her that night. She loved it and always wanted me to tell her more. Telling her the stories it made her cum through the roof. Anyway I decided to set up a dinner and have my friend over. I explained to my wife what I wanted to happen and she was cool with it. I'm thinking finally its going to happen with her completely and with her 100% participation. She said if it happens it happens but please don't assume it will happen. Well the night of the planned get-together we tried again. She didn't want anything to do with it. So now it's been about 5 years of talking and making this part of the arousal process is now dead. She told me this was not her and she could not bring herself to doing this. After several days of discussing I'm thinking, wow what the hell just happened? She started this whole thing in the first place. The fantasies have been a big part of our relationship for years now in which she is the one who keeps bringing it up. During lovemaking she would whisper to me, please tell me about what you guys did to me that night again. Screaming fuck me harder as I told her the details. So my big question is, do I keep pushing on or drop it? It really has affected me. How can I go from my biggest arousal to not even talking about it anymore? I'm very confused and need some advice here.Confused
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reader, anonymous, writes (29 March 2005): I recognise this all to well!!It seems whats actually happend is that the fantasy crossed the line. The fantasy was to have two men to please her,and also to have her man watch while she was pleased by another. The thing is in fantasy its a major major turn on, the thought of all this happening... but when it actually comes to it, she cant do it because that then actaully makes it real life. It seems that she wanted the fantasy and the sex thats involved with the fantasy, but not the actual sex with a third party. My advice to you is to let this go... dont ever let her feel pressured, maybe one day it will happen, but for her shes not ready or maybe never will be, enjoy the sex life you have already, enhanced with a fantasy, thats whats giving her the thrill, not the actual taking part of the fantasy, just the thought, the more you think about this happening the more ist unlikely to happen, many woman feel that the fantasy is enough, she probanbly loves you too much to actual encoutner in full on sex with another, just be together, dont force the issue, just have a healthy fantasy, but above all else, have each other. Hope this helps
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