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anonymous
writes: I don't orgasm every single time I have sex. This has never been a problem with other lovers, but has become a major problem with my current boyfriend. He is very insecure and when it comes to not pleasuring me he gets really upset. What I can't make him understand is that he IS pleasuring me. I love being with him. I am always ready to go and extremely aroused when we have sex. I don't have to tell him what to do to me, he already knows. He isn't the problem at all. He hits all of my spots every time. For some reason I just don't orgasm. I really don't understand why this is myself and so I have trouble helping him understand. He accuses me of not being into him, not being turned on, etc. This is so not the case!! He is very sexy and what he does to me is amazing. He has made me orgasm before and they are very intense. I never knew orgasms could be so intense until I was with him. He has even made me have three intense orgasms in one hour. He thinks a lot about my past relationships. I tell him, and this is the truth, that sex with those guys was nothing. With him it actually means something to me and I really enjoy it, where before I dreaded it. I'm not sure how it was with other women he has been with, but I want to tell him that they were probably faking if they orgasmed every single time. Is this true? Is it just that women don't orgasm every time like a guy? If I hint at the fact they were probably faking it that will really make things worse. I really don't know how to approach him about this any more or what to say. I guess I am looking for something scientific or something physiologically wrong with me to help him understand. I swear he is not the problem, it is me. This is all just getting really frustrating and I don't know what to do about it. I am also get yeast infections a lot and have been told twice that I have bacterial vaginosis. I wonder if this along with my hormonal imbalances is why I don't orgasm all the time, or again is it just that all women are like that. Please help! Thanks!
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reader, anonymous, writes (29 March 2005): Tell your boyfriend to take it slow next time, that you want to enjoy every second! If that doesn't work, then try pleasuring him and make him more relaxed; then it might be easier for him to pleasure you if he knows you want to make him feel good!But most emportant, talk to your partner while having sex and then relax and he will give you an orgasm without thinking of what he is doing!
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reader, Wendyg  +, writes (29 March 2005):
 We are all so very very different. I think the problem with your partner is that is obsessed with making you orgasm for some strange reason. Sounds like an insecurity, sounds as though at some point he has been told that he has let a woman down... You need to talk about this perhaps, maybe he feels like he isn't as good as your previous partners He needs to get over his fear of your ex partners, as it seems for some reason he thinks you are comparing him. It is possible for a woman to orgasm every time, I with my current partner do, but I'm one of the lucky ones I think!... All woman are different, it's not necessarily you or the man, it's just the way it is... some of us find it easy to orgasm, some have great difficulty, it's always different when we have sex. I think your man needs to find some confidence sexually as he may be trying to get over a previous bad episode. Try asking casually about his past partners, he knows about yours. It's not ideal to know the ins and outs, but it may give you a clue as to why he has a hang up on you not orgasming. It's definitely a man thing, he's thinking that if he doesn't satisfy you enough he will lose you. Perhaps this has happened before and he's scared of it happening again. Try to found out. Tell him he is the most important thing to you. Tell him how much you love him, how much you find him attractive and sexy. Some woman never reach orgasm! If he has managed to give you 3 orgasms in an hour then there is nothing wrong with either one of you, it's just each time we have sex it's different. Perhaps try different positions. If you really want to try and orgasm every time, perhaps the aid of a sex toy. These can be a lot of fun. How about a love egg placed on your clitoris whilst he is penetrating you. Ggradually introduce toys in the bedroom and take it from there. Give him a boost next time you orgasm, make a fuss about it, telling him how wonderful he was in bed perhaps this will inflate his ego and things will steady themselves. Good luck!
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