A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes: It has been a very long time since I have been intimate with someone. After my relationship ended a couple of years ago, I needed some time to get things into perspective and then just lost interest. I am less than confident now with my appearance and dread the thought of undressing in front of someone, weight gain etc.. I recently met someone though and its pretty clear that sex is on the cards. He has somehow sparked my interest in sex again.....so much so I cant beleive that I have mananged without for so long!!! Having said that I am absolutely terrified. I have never been very confident in that department and well as interested as I am, I am so worried it will all go really badly and put a real dampner on things if he senses my lack of confidence and anxiety. What can I do to boost my confidence and just enjoy it rather than analyse it?
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male
reader, DoubleM +, writes (9 November 2008):
Well, first of all he is reasonably aware of some extra padding if you have been together in person, which would seem to be the case. So, believe that he accepts you. You do not have to perform a strip show. When the time comes, dim the lights and slide into bed or whatever, and enjoy being a woman again. Oh, also stop drinking soda pop and begin some fast walking when you can. Best wishes.
A
male
reader, Austinalive +, writes (9 November 2008):
Pretty simple: get into his mind.
Women, even the most beautiful, are always embarrased of showing their bodies during intercourse, wich it's always ridiculous to us, at least you have "morbid obesity".
It's not entirily the shape of your body, but the reactions, moans, sudden movements what turn us on. The fact that you get naked in front of us excites us because you're surrended, it means we're doing our job pretty well, it's that what we see and not the body as a priority.
Use half light if you not completely confortable.
good luck.
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