A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:So i met this guy out the other night and he seemed nice , so a few days later he took me out on a date and we got chatting and things started to go really well! A week later we met up again, and he invited me around his house so I went over and we had a takeaway with a few drinks. Some things lead to another and we started to get it on... (Baring in mind I did want to do this and we've both been drinking so please don't advice me that I Shouldn't of slept with him so soon because I do regret it now).. Well anyway, it was going very well and I really wanted it and so did he, he was about to put it in me then all of a sudden it wouldn't go in at all, like it started to hurt so I told him to just forget about it , and it ended a different away. It wasn't awkward afterwards between me and him but I was sooooo embarrassed, like why did that happen?? Is it a turn off? He told me he would text me the following day and he never did until today he texted me and asked me how my weekend was and I replied saying it was good, how was his? And he just read it and never replied. Now i know that he may of seemed to just want sex but how can I not let him or the situation get to me? I do like this guy and I don't want to pester or message him because I feel highly embarrassed. What if it happens to someone else next time? Please help :(
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reader, anonymous, writes (18 August 2015): I know it's easier said than done but, please don't feel embarrassed about this! It couldn't be helped! as you say - at the time you both wanted to do this, so you didn't do this on purpose. It hurt!
If you think about it, it could be for the best, as you regret it now... & if you get along well (as it seems) you probably don't want the first time to be painful or a bad experience. Also you've given yourself time, which is good! If you do begin speaking again or getting to know each other, you can work out if he was only interested in sex or not.
I've been in similar situations and it's difficult not to over analyse things but sometimes people simply read messages & forget (maybe they're driving or something)... but you haven't done anything wrong! at all! so if he isn't speaking to you, you don't have to make special efforts to speak to him. It can hurt if you like someone, again - it's something that's easier said than done.
As for whether its a turn-off and why it happened, I think it would be more of a turn-off to continue & it be painful/not enjoyable for 50% of people involved.
Sex can be painful for many reasons, maybe it wasn't lubricated enough? an infection like thrush, which isn't always obvious straight-way, can make sex really uncomfortable. Possibly it was the position?
Was he up for continuing? maybe after drinking he was a bit soft and just trying to hard to insert it?
hopefully this has helped even a little bit, the most important thing is to not feel embarrassed.
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