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female
,
anonymous
writes: I'm a bit confused. I was in a relationship with this guy for 4 months and I lost my virginity to him. Sex itself wasn't really all that wonderful because I couldn't reach orgasm very often (I've never told him this) but I still loved it because of the closeness and intimacy of becoming one with someone that means everything to you. But now we've broken up, and we're sex buddies, but the sex is suddenly 100 times better. Why is this? I don't think anything has changed as far as technique goes, everything is still the same except we don't love eachother anymore.
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lost my virginity, orgasm, split up Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Toria +, writes (16 October 2006):
 Sometimes people become lazy in sex when they are in a relationship with the person as they already have them and feel they don't need to put as much effort into it or any need to be impressing that person anymore.
Or maybe you are just able to relax now that it is just sex and no other relationship issues to concentrate on or worry about.
A
male
reader, Yos  +, writes (16 October 2006):
 Strange that you say you had closeness and intimacy with him yet you didn't tell him you weren't orgasming. You should think about that. If you weren't telling him that then you weren't intimate.
Are you sure what you want is intimacy? Like the other answer says: perhaps you are more comfortable without the feeling of commitment?
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 October 2006): No strings attached sex is a turn on for some people, and if it's forbidden, that can be a turn on as well. Maybe you just feel more relaxed knowing that you aren't comitted to him anymore.
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