A
female
age
41-50,
*osephsonlyone
writes:so i have been dating my ex foe about 7 months, hes 31 and im 29 and just recently broke up(at his request) mainly because i dould not give him "head" everyday or whenever he wanted it, or out in public, in the parking lot of the mall, la fitnes (you see where im going with this). but we recently broke up because of the fact. when he first starting bringing it up i started to do it more frequently but i just dont want to do it all the time because i dont like to. so im confused because he pspends time with me(all his time because he has no friends) he buys me flowers and always calls me beautiful constantly but, he calls me al the time, if it were not for a few annoying things i would have nothing to complain about. for starters...he drinks everyday( tills he is sloppy drunkhe doesnt want me to spend any time with anybody but himeverythins always has to go his way, now the confusing part is he will say that he doesnt care if i go out (usually to my sisters or my moms)but then when i do he acts as if i have done him some terrible injustice..but our main problem is sex! that used to me one of my favorite pass times, now its turned into a chore... i dont know what to do.. i feel bad for not trying to work things out but no matter how much i do that he wants, he is jsut never satisfied... so should feel bad? any advise would help ease my troubled mind
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female
reader, josephsonlyone +, writes (21 November 2010):
josephsonlyone is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthank you all so much for your comments... we are no longer together and all this took place when we were together. i guess i felt bad because i kew he needed help but he would never admit to it...and it was that talking to him was confusing whe we were trying to come to som rational conclusions because he would turn everything round and before we were done i had no idea as to what we were even arguing about. my friends say that he was a good guy and that i just needed to be more open to what he wanted but i was not about to sit my happiness to the side for anybody so i left...now he calls all the time and says that i broke his heart so i just wanted some reassurance that i did the right thiing... again thank you all sooooo much!
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (20 November 2010): "he drinks everyday( tills he is sloppy drunk"
Clearly he is an alcoholic in active state of the disease. You won't get treated well by someone who does this, no matter how great they seem much of the time.
Your need to have this guy seems a bit troublesome, try counseling or going to Al-Anon meetings to learn about this and see if you can prevent this in the future for yourself.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 November 2010): No, your main problem isn't sex it's getting involved with an ex who is an alcoholic. Seriously, is it really worth it? I hope you see sense and move on.
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A
male
reader, Cerberus_Raphael  +, writes (20 November 2010):
 You do not need to feel bad at all! He is a hypocritical excuse for a pathetic lover. He was trying to control you, he was trying to make you do things you were not comfortable with. In essence, he was being selfish physically and emotionally. Why do you have to feel bad? Let him stay gone.
I hope that helps.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (20 November 2010):
 Feeling bad for what ?
For not being the girlfriend of an insecure,clingy,controlling drunkard who does not respect you enough to not force you into sexual acts that you are not comfortable with ?
I would not feel bad, I would feel very good !
You must be a very tolerant person to see what you mentioned as minor annoyances ,- I'd see them as total deal breakers- flowers or no flowers.
But, everybody is different I guess...
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