A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My husband and I have a shocking sex life. it consists of me trying to make him orgasm by giving him an hour or so of foreplay and him finishing off by having sex with me - I might get a 2 minute one handed fumble before we have sex. As a result we have sex about once a month.I've been trying to make things better and read a great reply to a question on here about sex versus making love and tried to make love to my husband. I explained to him that we would try and pleasure each other rather than focus on orgasm.It was all going really well and he'd gone down on me twice which was lovely and I'd spent time pleasuring him.Then he started saying it's alright I'll move in a minute whilst I was playing with him and I told him several times that we were not trying to just orgasm - instead we were loving each other's bodies. He then said - I know you're getting bored now (despite the fact I kept telling him we were trying to really explore and love each other). Then the bit that really upset me - he went to have sex with me and look horrified. I asked what was wrong and he said that I was 'gammy'. I asked him what he meant and he said that it was really liquidy and would get on his balls.I'm still fuming about this and am so hurt and angry and he says that I'm over reacting.If during out 10 years together he'd bothered to turn me on before he'd know that I'd get wet (point 1) and point 2 surely I've put up with his bodily fluid in worse places than 'balls' before without ever commenting.Am I over reacting bearing in mind the dire state of our love life, the resentment for the shocking love life and the fact that finally I actually get some bedroom action and it's ruined firstly by the 'bored' comment and secondly by being told I'm gammy!!!!!
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foreplay, orgasm, sex life Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 January 2009): I would go get yourself a new man who actually appreciates you!!
I've been in a relationship where the sex was awful and it ended the relationship. I'm now with a new partner who thinks I'm the sexiest thing alive.
You're too young to live like this - it's obviously upsetting you so move on
Good luck xx
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 January 2009): I'm the original poster.Thank you for your messages - it's good to know I'm not just making a big deal over nothing.He's a really nice guy but we've had a problem with our sex life for about 10 years and it really is driving us apart. We talk about changing it all the time but it never does and I'm just so frustrated.He says he fancies me and finds me attractive and yet it's always left to me to initiate sex and we've had plenty of situations where he whinges that I'm too dry (because I'll give him an hour of foreplay and he won't even touch me before we start having sex).I don't get it. I'm attractive, clean (he assures me the problem isn't smell) and want to have a proper sex life. I'm really at a loss of what to do and to be completely honest don't want to initiate sex again because I just can't be bothered. I generally more out of the DIY variety and it's a lot less effort and leaves me feeling more confident than when I have sex with my husband.He knows there's a problem, he promises he'll address it and he never does. He's also aware that I am seriously considering leaving because I think I'm too young to be in a marriage like this and he begs me to stay....Sorry to moan so much and thank you for your replies!!
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A
female
reader, x-kitycatlok-x +, writes (4 January 2009):
 Does he not know a single thing about sex at all?... Girls get wet for lubrication... He sounds cruel and heartless from that comment, but I can't say as I do not know him. You could try getting him ready and then telling him "no, you'll make me messy" or something. Give him a taste of his own medicine!Wishing You The Best.xx
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A
female
reader, angelnikita +, writes (4 January 2009):
Hey there i am really sorry about that awfull comment your husband made i wonder how he would react if some one said that to him, no i dont think your over reacting you have every right to be upset, try not giving him sex for a while and not trying to please him it might teach him a lesson, tell him your body is a temple to be valued and appreciated and you feel unloved by his lack of foreplay and think he dosnt appreciate or value your body like it should be then see how long for the appologies to come rolling in if he thinks you mean buisness, but also i do have to wonder though by that comment that your liquid would get on his balls maybe hes picked a phobia or something so try suggesting he see a doctor to rule out any phobia about germs, but good luck x
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