A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi! I lost my virginity a few years back with a randomer, didnt use a condom and it just kinda slipped in and worked the way it was supposed to! Since then my experience has been pretty much non-existant. Ive been with my gf now for a few months and have tried to have sex twice, and for some reason it just isnt happenning! She is stunningly hot, I am well into her, foreplay is great but its just that moment where I put the condom on it all falls apart.I have quite a sensitive penis, so my first problem comes with actually getting it on. The second problem is, once it goes on, my penis goes down!Im 99% sure theres nothing wrong physically and Im pretty sure its all anxiety! I can practice whacking it on and live with the initial uncomfortablenss of it if I know Im going to have a great time...but even if I do that...by that time Im stressed and for whatever reason I lose my erection and can't get it back. Like I said, weeve tried it twice now, the first time I managed to blag it off but this time round it really was quite embaressing and I felt like a tit. My gf is a virgin and has said shees ready so it makes it even worse that I cant make her happy. I really want for me to be her first. I can't really discuss it properly with her with her because she assumed from the start that I had lots of experience which I never denied, (I know...big mistake) and its gone too far now that I can't really tell her the truth.All I need to figure out is how to get it on and keep it up. A week from now is round 3 and i know if it doesnt happen then the embaressement and disappointment will absolutly kill it!Any advice on how to get it on easier, (with my sensitivity), how to keep it up and general advice is desperately needed! Contraception her side is not an option at the minute, I need to sort myself out and not just pass the problem onto her. I just want to wear a condom on an erect penis and have fun!
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condom, erection, foreplay, lose my erection, lost my virginity, my ex, my penis Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, natasia +, writes (9 May 2009):
 Forget the bloody condom. It's an awful thing. I know everyone says to use them, but if you've only had sex once, and she is a virgin, you could just go quietly without her knowing and get yourself checked out, to make sure you don't have any STDs or AIDS, and then you could use a different form of contraception.
OR, you could use a fertility charting method that checks when it's ok to have sex with her (ie, when she isn't fertile). And you could do that for a while, and then she could go on the pill or have the contraceptive patch or injection.
I agree - condoms are a total turn off - my man says he would rather not have sex than use one. That's probably why we have a beautiful 1 year old daughter ... ; ) - so yes, you do need to be very careful/sensible, but it is PERFECTLY possible to have sex without condoms.
Probably nobody else agrees with me, but I can see exactly why it spoils the moment. And it is also coated in a spermicide that in some people causes numbness or other reactions, so then you can't even feel it.
Nope. Look at other ways round it. And do it (safely, after having been checked out) au naturel. That is my advice.
nx
A
male
reader, detharcangel  +, writes (9 May 2009):
anxiety can kill any erection if your nervous try have her stroke you into erection maybe even light kissing around it. once your aroused use a condom thats slightly to small or rubber band at the base of erection to keep the blood trapped (just dont let her see it) as long as the blood stays trapped you have a chance if you still having problems then its all mental and try hitting up a vitamin store for natural means of libido
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