A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I am 18 years old and about to finnish highschool. I have been dating my girlfriend for about 9 months and recently she has told me that sex is not as exciting anymore. I kind of agreed because we used to sneak out and go somewhere in my car all the time. Now we dont do it as much because we dont want to get caught by her parents, they are very strict. We both talked about how much we loved each other and we agreed that we would wait and see what happens. She has been having trouble at home with her parents and can no longer go to the college she wanted to go to. Also when we start sex it is usually her making the first move. Im not afraid to make the first move but out of respect to her I dont. My question is, is she telling me its not as exciting because she has other things on her mind, or are there some things I can do differently to make it more exciting? Also she has told me time and time again that she is not gay but when she is horny and alone she sometimes craves a women. Is this normal for girls or is she lying about being straight?
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reader, anonymous, writes (19 August 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionOk thank you. All I had to do was man up and be the first to initiate sex and now we kinda take turns starting it randomly. We celebrated our one year today and even though we both knew we were going to have sex it was more of an intimacy thing. Sex is defiantly not all we have, we have a great relationship and everything is working out great.
A
female
reader, Not My Name  +, writes (1 May 2010):
 If you want to make it more exciting, shake it up a little coz it sounds like you guys have a bit of a set routine going on.
Starting initiating the pouncing yourself too, ... she clearly wants to have sex with you since she keeps making the moves on you first, ... but whilst you are sitting there thinking you are being respectful by not hitting her up first, ...she is more than likely sitting there wishing you would express desiring her so much you can't help making a move on her. At the moment she may even feel like you just go along with it like performing a service but are neither here nor there when you don't start it yourself.
No one, I repeat NO ONE wants to be the one always initiating it! People want to feel like their partner is attracted to them, wants them, and desires them so much they will go after them. Dominate her sometimes instead of her always taking the lead.
Don't follow some set pattern either if your doing that, ... sometimes do some things, sometimes other things, sometimes all things, ... sometimes throw in something totally unexpected ... mix it up so neither of you go in to it quite knowing what might happen instead of waiting for the next bit in the rountine that is always coming.
Change positions too, ... it does not even have to be a text book position, .. just get in some sort of tangle. Some work out, some don't, ...have fun with it.
As for the craving a woman, if she has not acted on it, prob means she is just curious at this stage. There may some clues in that for you tho. Go watch some lesbian porn for some potential idea's on what might be attracting her to the idea of another woman, ...and then implement them on her and get some feedback.
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