A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I am 22 and I am a virgin. More so, I am a virgin who just got engaged. I really want to have sex and so does my man - not that hes pressuring me at all. The problem is every time I try it hurts too much... i've used copious amounts of lube and even the doctors say its "all fine" down there. I don't know what I can do to make it hurt less so that I can just get on with it. Now its come to a point every time we get close to doing it, I lose my drive and push him off me and fall asleep. I feel really bad for him even though he hasn't complained even once. I really want to solve this problem before it gets really bad.. I am after all marrying him!Are there any creams or remedies that make it not hurt?PLEASE help :(-Miss Nosexdrive
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, daletom  +, writes (16 January 2008):
This question is repeated from the thread "Are there any creams or remedies that dimiss the hurt during the "first night"?" at http://www.dearcupid.org/question/are-there-any-creams-or-remedies-that-dimiss.html - she's already getting answers there, so answer that thread instead of this one.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 January 2008): Pain is a turnoff, for sure. The words to an old song says 'all you need is good lovin', meaning soft, gentle foreplay until your muscles relax and you are more 'ready'. You be the one to say 'when'. This was my own doctor's advice. And, did it work? You bettcha. I am a grandmother, now.
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