A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I'm wondering if this is normal or not. Everytime I get physical with a guy it never does anything for me. No amount of fingering, oral sex or sex in general feels good to me at all. I've never had an orgasm from someone else and it's just frustrating to see the guy really enjoying himself when i'm doing all the work and when I do get something in return it feels like nothing and is only boring to me. I've grown to hate sex as it just seems so pointless to me. Do I need help?
View related questions:
fingering, oral sex, orgasm Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, MonksDaBomb +, writes (1 December 2009):
 What you need to do is have a nice talk with your guy. It sounds like you've had bad experiences in the past and it sort of has you spooked (for lack of a better word) for any future relationships.
Every man is different and the two of you must have constant communication to make your relationship work. Just take your relationship slow - it doesn't have to be physical right away, obviously - so that will give you peace of mind and give yourself confidence knowing that he is there because he likes YOU - your personality, wit, charm, etc. - and NOT just your looks.
But communication is very important. No relationship is successful without good, honest communication. If he truly loves you, he'll respect your need to take things slow and you'll enjoy the relationship more.
Good luck :)
A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 November 2009): I think you may be trying to force yourself to have feeelings for a guy just because he wants to be with you and you aren't letting your feelings develop for someone based on the quality of the relationship or the emotional connection you feel with the man. You may not even be sexually attracted to the men you are dating.There is no law that says a young woman like yourself has to date anyone she doesn't feel something for. I have spent a year or more at various times being single and not dating anyone. Those were the years when I had to do my own personal growth and my own inner work, I think you may be in that sort of head space as well.You aren't choosing to get attached for a reason, set some personal goals and focus on those and have men friends and date casually, but you do not owe a guy sex ever, so if you don't want to have sex with him, then set your boundaries and continue to wait and see if anything develops on a relationship level.You can't force yourself to feel something that you don't and you don't have to feel guilty about that, unless it is causing you some kind of distress then I would just focus more on you.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 November 2009): I think you may be trying to force yourself to have feeelings for a guy just because he wants to be with you and you aren't letting your feelings develop for someone based on the quality of the relationship or the emotional connection you feel with the man. You may not even be sexually attracted to the men you are dating.There is no law that says a young woman like yourself has to date anyone she doesn't feel something for. I have spent a year or more at various times being single and not dating anyone. Those were the years when I had to do my own personal growth and my own inner work, I think you may be in that sort of head space as well.You aren't choosing to get attached for a reason, set some personal goals and focus on those and have men friends and date casually, but you do not owe a guy sex ever, so if you don't want to have sex with him, then set your boundaries and continue to wait and see if anything develops on a relationship level.You can't force yourself to feel something that you don't and you don't have to feel guilty about that, unless it is causing you some kind of distress then I would just focus more on you.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 November 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionIf it helps, I generally have a very sour outlook on relationships and I have trouble getting attached to anyone. I've definitely never felt love before and I've never been broken up with. I feel like guys only see me for my appearance and each boyfriend I've had ends badly because I start resenting the fact that I have to get physical with them every time i see them. Doing that stuff is so tiresome to me and I just see it as unnecessary since I don't benefit from it. I also have trouble getting into a committed relationship... I get into one and I immediately want to be free and start dating other people. I don't know what it is. I just dislike them because I feel like it's trying to cage me.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 November 2009): get your boyfriend to use a vibrator on u. that will help
...............................
A
female
reader, lola29  +, writes (30 November 2009):
i totally feel the same, was about to post a question on this. i dont like sex either and i dont orgasm either. wat im doing is taking a break from it.
goodluck
...............................
|
