A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:hi, i desperately need some advice.I tried having sex for the first time last night, it was with my boyfriend of 7 months and we were perfectly save and everything. There was just one problem, he couldn't get his penis into me. Has anyone else had this problem??? We tried many times and in the end gave up but i feel really bad because it was supposed to be special being the first time and everything and then it wouldn't work. What can i do to make it work next time???Please give me any advice you've got because i'm paniking that theres something wrong with me and i can't concentrate! =SThankyou x Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 February 2009): Man, the same thing happened to me and my boyfriend... We really really love each other, and really really wanted to have sex with eachother.. but he couldnt get in the slightest milimeter! =( I was pretty excited, a little nervous, and we hadnt foreplayed that much, because he was nervous that he couldnt stay hard long enough. Like everyone here is saying, we probably didnt foreplay enough...? =/ After the first attempt failed, we stayed in bed naked and talked about it.. I started touching and rubbing him which made him want to try again, with me on top. Still didnt work.. Im very annoyed, cause we really felt so ready, emotionally!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 January 2009): Like everyone else says, make sure you are wet enough. He should be able to slide two or three fingers inside you with ease before attempting to push his cock inside.
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A
female
reader, TasteofIndia  +, writes (28 January 2009):
 Hi there,
Been there. When I first lost my virginity, I had the exact same problem, and you know what? I continued to have the problem for a straight MONTH!!!! Longest month of my life, but also the most fun month EVER! The key is just relaxing and not trying to rush it. It'll get in when it gets in. Make sure you stay nice and wet and you can do what I did - ease him in to you reeeeaaalllyyyy slowly. Definitely have your hand down there - you'll be a better guide than your boyfriend for sure!
Good luck, sweetness. As you can see, you're totally normal. You'll get there!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 January 2009): I remember my first attempt like it was yesterday! It was totally awkward and it didn't work. We attempted more than once and still, it did not work....
I had no clue why this was happening, probably because I had never had sex before, but now I know.....
When I look back at the situation (Laughing at it of course, you only have to), I realized that it was because I wasn't wet enough...
And of course it's your first time, you don't want to have to use Lube or anything, I sure didn't.... but you really have to foreplay a lot and of course naturally once you get to the part of sex, you may get nervous, get turned off, and dry up quickly.... don't sweat it.... it will happen when you're ready....
However, you need to help him.... you and only you will know if he it inserting himself at the correct angle and around the right area, otherwise he will keep poking around until he finds it all while trying to not think too much.
You have to help him find it, so if that means putting your hands down there, taking charge and moving your skin around so that it fits and he can insert you, and is in the right spot, then by all means do it!
Or you could always try having him go down on you for a little bit to get you a little bit more wet... that works sometimes.... You could even go down on him too, saliva will work perfectly
Good Luck!
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A
male
reader, MoonlightDrive70 +, writes (28 January 2009):
 you were robably just nervous and either tightened up or you both were too fumbly cos of nerves. the trick is lots of foreplay so your both really into it for when the time comes.
From what i hear it happens a lot, not just when people are losing their virginity but when 2 ppl who really like each other get 2gether the same thing can occur.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 January 2009): hey u can do it by applying gel like K-Y jelly into ur vaginal opening and then trying, it helps to lubricate and helps penetrate the penis inside...
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 January 2009): How quickly did you give up? On my first attempt it didn't go in, I gave up quickly and I got all huffy and upset and fell asleep. But when I woke up I decided I wanted to have another go, so we tried again. We were more patient and not hurried, I relaxed as much as I could, my boyfriend was really careful with me, and it was painful but I just stuck it out until he was inside me. The pain did start to fade after a little while so don't be so tense, it won't be a bed of roses but it won't be horrific, just persevere and it will work. However don't force yourself to do it if you really don't want to - you'll know when it's right =]
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A
female
reader, Too Sensitive +, writes (28 January 2009):
Your first-time experience is a common one, so don't worry too much. Was it his first time also? That would make it a doubly nervous scenario!
Many years ago with one of my first boyfriends (well, the one I decided to sexually experiment with, anyway), we had this same problem, and multiple times. We were both virgins. I was ignorant to what I should be doing to him and vice versa. Neither one of us touched the other - there was no foreplay whatsoever! He just tried to put it in there, and it just wasn't working! We never did "consummate" the relationship before we finally broke up (not over our sex life - or rather, lack of - but something entirely different). So I was still in essence a virgin. Things went much better with my next bf!
I agree with the other answers here, that foreplay is essential (and plenty of it!). Both of you should get so hot and bothered that there's just no turning back. There may have to be more of it on his part and less of it on your part, for if he gets too turned on before entering you, then he will climax prematurely. It works well if the man takes the time to get the woman to climax first during foreplay (but don't worry about your climaxing, b/c if you or he focus too much on that, that can add pressure to the whole situation...just try to relax on that one until you both get more experience with each other), then the woman foreplays with the man, but not to the point of climax, just enough so he is getting alot of pleasure and stays hard. Your bf will have to let you know when to stop, so he can enter you before it's too late. Or you both could do things to each other at the same time. You can try different things, and mix it up from one time to the next!
Don't worry, you will be successful eventually. Just give it time, both of you try to relax, and enjoy everything along the way. For most of us knowing what to do does not come naturally, and it must be learned as we go along.
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A
female
reader, aunty_rach +, writes (28 January 2009):
you need alot more foreplay. you need to be relaxed, because if you are tense or worried your muscels shall tense up and therefore your vagina shall tense up, making it harder for him to enter you. also if it's your firs time, you shall have a tight vaginal opening. next time try using some extra lube and get him to only enter you abit at a time. you will beable to take him eventually. it just may take a few times. otherwise try and do more fingering, either yourself or get him to do it more.
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