A
female
age
30-35,
*ostnspace
writes: i just dont enjoy having sex to me it does nothing for me i was with somebody that i loved and we had sex as far as getting sexually fufillment i didnt get that but emotional i did now im dating and im really just not into it can this possible change like sex doesnt feel natural to me even tho i know it is probably the most nature thing in the world i want to just get rid of this issue but it seems to still be with me what can i do yes i have experinced trama in my pass Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Abella +, writes (23 January 2011):
 if you have experienced trauma in your life, in the past, then that is sufficient explanation.
And it is not as if you are saying you wish to be celibate for the rest of your life.
Instead I sense that you do want your life to include a comfortable acceptance and enjoyment of sexual intimacy in your life. But you are not yet comfortable with having sexual intimacy in your life, yet. Because it does nothing for you.
Some counselling with an empathic caring professional could give you some peace and support. And put suggestions to you that you could try with your guy to introduce tiny incremental aspects to increasure your tolerance towards possible fulfilling and enjoyable sexual intimacy. But that is something for you to consider for the future.
Besides a good counsellor, You certainly do need an especially kind and understanding guy. Progress will be slow. But with little steps, and and lots of patience you may be surprised how good it can get.
Just don't agree to do anything that makes you uncomfortable. And stop at any point you want it to stop.
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