A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I recently asked a question about being intimate with my boyfriend, but keeping my virginity at the same time (http://www.dearcupid.org/question/i-want-to-keep-my-virginity-until-i.html)and got a lot of really insightful responses. (Thanks 2 all who took time to answer) Anyway, I would like to explain that I don't save my virginity for religious reasons (because I am actually Agnostic) but because in my opinion sex has become such a normal act for most people that there's no meaning behind it. I was taught that sex should be something personal, sacred, and thoughtful-not just "a romp in the hay." If one decides to give themselves to another person-it should be because of a deep love, respect, trust and understanding of the other, right? Part 2 of my question) It is true that every human has sexual urges, however isn't it a true testament to love if you give yourself to the one that is also truly in love with you and not just looking for mere pleasure? Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (27 February 2010):
 What you said is very true, but marriage has little to do with being in love. A lot of people marry for practical reasons, like when they graduate, get a good job, have enough money to buy a house or a car. A person's attitude towards life has a lot to do with how great the sex will be. Even a one night stand can be beautiful if you can pour all your love into that one night. It can be more beautiful than a couple trapped in a loveless marriage. In fact, everything in life is sacred and you should do every single act with total concentration and aliveness, and not just exile pleasure into sex alone, whether it's forbidden or in a marriage.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (27 February 2010): This is a person decision, not a clear moral one that has a right and wrong answer for everyone.
Sex was always meant to be a very sacred thing. In ancient times it's true they didn't always choose their partners with so much care, but they also disowned any kids produced outside of marriage. And the men didn't wanna marry a woman who had been sexually active outside of marriage either. There was plenty of extra-marital sex but there was still plenty of rules to keep things focused on marriage and legitimate kids when it came to anything important.
I am not saying who is wrong or right, just that this is the way things were for thousands of years before science got into the picture with birth control and stuff. Science only changed the physical consequences of sex, it hasn't done anything to change the emotional effects it has.
...............................
A
male
reader, bharat mehta  +, writes (27 February 2010):
 Most people feel confusion, the confusion is about sex-pleasure and love. Let us check the metaphysical status of each one.
1.Sex is metaphysical fact. It is nature. Pleasure is an attribute of sex. So, there is no question of separation. When, the element of 'pleasure' involve, then it touch the realm of 'mind' or 'spirit' or 'soul'...which evern name one choose to call...still there are many terms like 'psyche'...
Because human mind is intellectual, hence it is volitional. And, because human mind is volitional, it has to make choice on all count. So, the problem of 'love' come. Love is feeling of 'intimacy'. Sex is private, personal, as you learn it correctly, but at the same rate, what is private and personal is also universal. And, because sex is universal, any one can relate with anyone for sex. But, problem became complicated, because sex has one use, procreative use, that make sex a more social/religious. There is no question of 'love', sex also means 'love'. But, the social nature of sex force anyone to be monogamous.
Anyone can share anything, with anyone like property, food, drink, ideas of everything, but sex cannot be share with anyone, as per one's own imagination or fantasy.
So, every human individual is force to make choice with care. Everyone is force is make choice, which should be consistence with nature of 'person'. So, we have issues like, sex without love, and love without sex. One can feel great sex with one without love. And one can feel great intimacy with one, without sex !!!
So, human life has to form some ideal, and the highest ideal is of 'unity'. Unity is unity of thought, of action, of emotion etc. when unity is break, then dichotomy is there to work. Unity is unity of sex and spirit also, which is principle unity.
...............................
|
