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female
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anonymous
writes: Someone once told me that it would be better if I slept with a few guys before finding the one to marry. They told me that way I would really get to know men before I settle and get out of the lust stage. I'm almost 19 and I haven't slept with anyone yet. I have fooled around, and yeah it does seem like you get to know the person and connect better after you've become somewhat intimate. I've been holding out on oralsex, fingering, and actual sex till marriage not only for moral reasons, but because I'm afraid of regreting it and being really heart broken afterwards. Is it really better to have sex before you finally get married?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 November 2006): I am a christian and i'm 18. I too have still not lost my virginity. I am so proud of myself for not having sex yet. Its not because of my beliefs that i have not had sex, its the sme as you- i'm scared of getting hurt and i want to know that the person i give my body to is the man who will be spending the rest of his life with me. I love the way that people look at me when i they know i'm a virgin. I feel special and wanted. I am different from any one else. You know what? we could be slags anyday and sleep with men but we have something they havent got and will never have again. We are special and men will have so much respect for us. So keep going!
A
reader, Rainee  +, writes (5 November 2006):
 If you're even a little bit hesitant about having sex before marriage, DON'T DO IT.
I had a 4 year non-sexual waiting-til-marriage relationship with a man. It didn't work out for unrelated reasons, but we're still good friends. Because we waited, we had no animosity toward each other for losing it to someone who wasn't our spouse.
I ended up losing my virginity to a guy 6 months later (I was 20) that I thought was perfect--but I'm deeply hurt and angry at myself for not waiting longer, as we broke up quickly after that. Three months later I met the man I'm married to now--you can't believe how much I wish I had waited longer so I could have given it to him!
Only you can decide for yourself, but of those straddling the fence of what to do, here's this: Those that lose their virginity before marriage to someone who is not their spouse, and later have happy marriages, tend to feel regret for not giving it to their spouse. Those that don't lose their virginity before marriage and have bad marriages tend to be sad they didn't have more sexual experience. Have a good marriage, and you're golden!
Just remember, anyone who pressures you for sex is only looking out for themselves and their desires. Someone who truly cares about you will respect your decision to wait, if that's what you want.
Goodluck
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reader, anonymous, writes (5 November 2006): ive been going out with my girlfriend for over a year you should hold out. We had sex at the beggining of our relationship and now its practically unexistant. You should hold out you feel a strong connection towards the first person you ever have sex with and if it ever dies out youll wish you had never done it. I love my girlfriend and everyhing but it honestly gets the best of everyone I say dont do it. wait for the right guy
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A
female
reader, Jadzia1127 +, writes (4 November 2006):
 You sound like a very smart girl.
As for options:
I could list the pro's and cons of everything listed already and give you other scenarios and reasons why and why not to, that haven't even been mentioned.
The question for you is how would you feel if your someday husband is wondering the same things you are right now?
How would you like us to answer him?
How do you think he wants us to answer you?
Answer those questions and you have your answer.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 November 2006): it really is up to you, if it feels rightthen do it but if you want to stick by your principles then wait until your married. it will be much more meaningful.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (4 November 2006): time for a male view..... Do what you want and what you feel happy with, It's not unreasonable for you to want sex after marriage, If a male wants sex before then he is really after one thing in all honesty. If he truely loves you he would wait a life time. My ex g/f was against sex before marriage and i had no problem with that it didn't put a strain on our relationship as i we all have to respect each other. (Sex wasn't the reason we split up lol)
Good luck
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A
female
reader, Sexybum  +, writes (4 November 2006):
 I agree with Bonym you should only do what is right for you...
If you meet the right person you will know it and if you love them sincerely then you will know if you want to have sex with them or not... and if they love you sincerely they will understand your wishes to be married before doing it and they will honour that..
Dpon't do what you think society thinks is right you have to think of yourself in this matter.. You've already waited this long so if you go and have sex now just to experiment then I beleive that you will regret it and the problem then is that there is no going back...
My advice is to stick to your guns and wait until you have met the special person that you want to be with....
Sexybum XOXOX
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A
female
reader, bonym +, writes (4 November 2006):
 As a Christian, my immediate and favourable opinion is to say to you have sex when you are married and if you are saying it is for moral reasons, then stick to your beliefs, but I am also aware that in todays society, there are very few people who abstain from sex before marriage and whilst I cannot tell you how to live your life, if you have a moral belief then dont allow someone to tell you what is best for YOU. I know a handful of people who remain a virgin till they got married and said it was the best thing they could ever have done, some say otherwise, but ultimately only you know within yourself what is right from wrong. Take care. xXx
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A
female
reader, x..Becky..x +, writes (4 November 2006):
 To be honest hunnie, I think only you know what is right for you and your body, Your heart will let you know when you find the right guy and perhaps you weren't as connected to those other guys that you thought you were. I can't see the problem with sex before marriage as who knows we may not even get married you never know what your life is going to hold for you. If was you I'd live it to the fullest but being 19 and not yet had sex I respect you a lot for that.. Shows common sense. x Take care hunnie x
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