A
male
age
41-50,
*attsim
writes:How long do we need to wait to have sex again now that we have ended our separation? My wife and I went through a separation for February, March and the first part of April before we got back together after successful marital counseling on my unemployment and other issues. I am 26 and she is 23. She and I met in college and we were each others' only sexual partners until the separation. While separated, she had some sexual contact with two men. She went out with a vendor to the company first, and later that month her boss set her up on a blind date with his college friend. Both men were middle aged but she went out with them in order to get back on her feet during our separation and to accommodate her boss in the case of his college buddy. We discussed the situation using some of what we learned in counseling and she has given me information that makes us feel the need to be cautious. With the vendor she had protected sex and with her boss's college friend she had oral sex at his office and then sex in his apartment at the end of the date, with him going without a condom at his insistence. She knows that this was a bad choice and now that we have gotten past some of the emotional issues, we are concerned about her health and our sex life. She has been tested once in the second week of April and is healthy so far, but do we need to wait on getting her tested again before we resume our own intimacy? If so how long? Any other advice on this situation would be greatly appreciated as we are struggling to protect our marriage going forward.
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male
reader, Starlite2k10 +, writes (25 April 2010):
Yeah. those guys are right, what she did is called CHEATING.
She is your wife, and still WAS your wife during the separation, so that's cheating.
The fact that she could so easily go out and start doing these things with other men when she is meant to be faithful to you, means that she really isn't thinking about your feelings at all.
I know it's hard, and I know she's your wife, but you really need to think about doing something serious, sometime soon, like divorce. Sorry, I know it's hard to hear, but it's true.
A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (25 April 2010):
 I am surprised you are okay with all this. This is a brief separation within a marriage, and not a separation proceeding to a divorce. So getting sex somewhere else should be out of the question. What she did was cheating. Getting back on her own feet is just some lame excuse. What you should do now is to get employed. Don't be too proud to do jobs below you. As for sex, I don't know how you could be intimate with her after she cheated on you. Protect your self esteem, before your marriage, which shouldn't have taken place. I would rather have no sex than consolation sex with a cheater.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 April 2010): Wow, can you trust a woman like that? So, when you hit a rough patch again, is she gonna prostitue herself again? Get out while you can, I'm sure your marriage vow included @for better or WORSE" not better and better. You need a strong woman that will be there for you loyally at all costs.
Why is she sleeping with her boss' friend? what's gonna happen when the boss wants to set her up again?
Leave while you can, life is too short for this kind of drama....!!!
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