A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:This situation involves my mum and estranged dad. Basically before I was born my dad was married to this woman and had a 6 year affair with my mum. He never left his wife for her and she ended up raising me herself with no contact with him apart from child support. On my 9th birthday he came back into our lives, and even then I knew they were back to seeing each other behind everyone's back. She knew I was mad; I wanted a real dad at that age, not a stranger who claimed to be. He left again on my 11th birthday and all was good again. Anyway, in the past couple of months they've started talking about. My mum kept slipping out how she's met up with him, and I know they'll be sleeping together again. One day he even came round (first time I've seen him since my 11th birthday and I'm 16 now) and I was furious that she hadn't even checked to see if I was okay with it. Because of him I've gone to counselling for depression, mainly thinking everyone leaves me like he did. So this morning she'd left her mobile in her room and asked me to get it when I went back upstairs. When I did I though I'd check through her texts; I wanted to see if she was really back with him or if I was just being paranoid. The texts were just sexts, talking about squirting and... it was sick. I know I shouldn't have checked, but I had to know if she was being an idiot and going back to him when he's still married to the same woman he was all those years ago. I don't like the idea of him being back in our lives because I know he'll run off and leave us again. He's done it twice, why would he change? Should I come clean that I think she's being stupid about going back to him? Or let her carry on, and just refuse to be involved myself.
View related questions:
affair, squirt, text Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (25 April 2010):
If after all these years your mother hasn't woken up and accepted that he's using her, then it doesn't matter what you say because she won't listen. It's a sad situation to have someone like him as a father, and a mother who sits there dreaming that one day he's suddenly going to give a damn. I'm not in quite the same situation, but I understand how you feel about having a lousy father. The most important thing I can say to you, is that you learn form this mess, because that's what I've done. I've purposely made sure that I'm nothing like my father, and really have made an effort to be better. In your case, it's important you learn that things like married men are out of a bounds, and that you must never put your own child through what you've been through,, because you can be better. There will always be a certain thing missing in your life, but I can assure you that if you learn from it, and really make an effort to be better for yourself, this could be a very useful experience for you. Let your mother wallow in her own mess. You live your own life and live it better than her and your father put together.
|
