A
male
age
,
anonymous
writes:My wife and I are separated and going to a therapist. I want to stay married but thought the best way to deal with the anguish my wife caused me (she cheated, among other things) was to move out. Since then, things have improved somewhat in some areas. We still see each other at the therapists and sometimes for sex.My wife is very attractive. She has always too much enjoyed male attention. I am not a jealous man but I've always been terribly attracted to her. It's not a case, for me at least, of not desiring her. It's that I feel that for a long time she's put me into the clumsy position of "her jailer." So, I moved out and declared that she could have relationships but that I could, too. I do not ask her about hers. I do not want to hear. I don't want to hear anything. I tell her to discuss those matters with the therapist, not with me. But whenever we are together at our old place (now hers), she brings up the latest news, expecting me to reciprocate and tell her what I've been doing. I don't want to because I don't know how well she could deal with it. I'd like opinions, pro and con.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 August 2010): just tell her off tell her you don't want to hear about her sexual conquests.she is being slefish, seems like she is gloating that she still has it. well she can become to towns harlot but you do not want to hear about it.
she cheated, you moved on and now trying to reconcile. and both in open relations??
sad.
- LoveGirl
A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 August 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you all for your comments and advice. I know she needs to be set straight for once about me. I was never "into" kiss-and-tell but she's so arrogant about her "conquests" that she deserves to hear that she didn't marry a spectator after all. I'm going to discuss things with the therapist first, I think, to get her perspective, then go ahead.
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A
female
reader, Carrot2000 +, writes (22 August 2010):
 If your wife is into kinky sex and asking for details, I don't think it will hurt her at all. You're obviously hurt by the details of her encounters and want her to be hurt by the thought of you with other women, but that's not the case. She's not trying to make you jealous; for her, all of this is a turn on. Hopefully your therapist can help you two work through your sexual incompatibilities.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 August 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionYes, she wants to get back together, it seems, because she regularly comes to the therapist's and invites me over to talk and we end up having sex. She is trying to make me jealous, I guess, but it's also true that she has expressed interest in kinky sex at the therapist's and in fact that is how this situation of our being separated arose--because I discovered that she had been doing all sorts of things behind my back. She has told me and the therapist that she "wanted to do things" I wouldn't do, but the truth is she never told me she wanted them. I am not so lousy in bed as you probably think as other women I've seen lately don't act at all as if I am. Well, I guess I'll tell her a few things after all, but it will pain her to know.
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A
female
reader, person12345 +, writes (21 August 2010):
 It sounds like she's trying to make you jealous on purpose, to see your reaction. It probably makes her feel attractive and powerful. Give her a taste of her own medicine next time and see how she much she wants to tell you about her escapades.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (21 August 2010): I've been in a similar mindset before. Look, you've set the terms here already. You essentially gave her 'permission' to screw other men. Try this the next time you are having sex, be dirty. Don't be too aggressive unless she likes that. Screw the daylights out of her while getting the confession of some of her escapades. You may have to ask her what she did and describe it for her in lurid detail all the while giving it to her.
Face it your wife is a perv. Be one too! Be safe. Keep the connection, and don't allow psychodrama to take over.
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