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male
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*ason1_H
writes: I have been seeing this women for a couple of months now. She told me right away that she is friends with a couple of her old boyfriends and I was comfortable with that. She also told me what happened to her as a child. About one month and half passed by and things are taking a turn for the worst. Her old boyfriends started crying and whining because she was not hanging out with them and she was spending too much time with me. When I hang out with her at her place they come a knocking to find out what her deal is just about every other day. She does not have the will to tell them to back off. Know she finally gave into them. She is making those guys happy instead of herself. She also got back with one of the guys to prove to him that it's not going to work and in the meantime she is still with me. With all of this going on she tells me I'm the best thing that ever happened to her and doen't know how to act or what to to. She also wants to break up with me but at the same time she is still with me. Do I let her play her game with these guys and help her the best I can? I mean with all this going on and the problems she is dealing with I don't know what to say or do!
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reader, anonymous, writes (5 December 2005): She told you right off the bat, she was hanging with some old bf's and you were agreeable. She was clear and honest, I respect that. Plus, your relationship with her-is only two months old and it needs much more time to get established, hun. She's just unsure of the relationship and rightfully so, she knows it's simply too early for her to make a full committment to you. If you and she were in a long, established relationship then I'd say..you have the right to tell her this is an either/or situation. It's either you or them. Having ex-boyfriends lurking in the background can prevent her from totally committing to you but in time, once this relationship gets underway, the exes will fade away...just be patient and give this time. If your girlfriend is someone of good character, and you both want this dating relationship, I cannot think of a reason to walk away...at least not yet. Exclusivity is possible in for long-term dating relationships, engagements and marriages but I think you are expecting too much from her...too soon in this situation, here. If your relationship with her includes sex, then you are often assuming it's monogamous because of the level of intimacy. People who assume, often get hurt with these unclear boundaries. The one thing a young man needs to learn is to read the information given to them by the women that capture their interest. Instead of trying to meet your own needs, learn to adjust to reality. And the reality is-she may not be ready to fully commit yet. Sooo...ask yourself-do you wish to work hard at this and deepen your relationship with her? How you proceed will depend on your answer. If she's special to you...I think it's best to sit her down and have a long, good talk about what you want from all this. If you don't like what's going on...you have the choice to stick it out or walk away. It's your call. Take Care
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reader, anonymous, writes (5 December 2005): Alot of confusion here mate and your girlfriend what is she on,she sounds a little tapped if you ask me . Playing games thats what i call it and even if she doesn't know what she is doing which is stupid as everybody is responsible for their own actions it's not like these guys have magical powers or anything she can always choose NOT to open the door or NOT to answer her phone and if they get angry then she can take action against them as thats not healthy !.But Anyway don't let this girl mess you about it's either you or them don't get me wrong having them as mates is cool but nothing more,SHE SHOULD ALREADY KNOW THAT.She does need to appreciate her time with you and get to know you ,why is she playing games for with the other guys your obviously not the most important person to her,either take the hint or put your foot down.
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female
reader, louiseBaker +, writes (5 December 2005):
She sounds like she is playing games with all of you in a very selfish manner! This lady needs to have more respect for you, it is one thing having friends..but another when she is obviously crossing the line of friendship and taking everyone for a mug. The problems she is 'dealing with' are caused by her old selfish acts and i can't really think that she is 'dealing' with them at all, but rather making them worse. If she is with you she is with you..and she needs to tell the other guys to back off. I think that you should do the right thing and break up with her..walking away with some dignity before she strips you of that too.
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