A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Well this morning my boyfriend left me alone in his flat as he went to work. I wanted to watch tv online so I turned it on but before decided to check my fb. As he never usually is logged in I didn't expect it when he was. I then began looking through past messages between him and other girls before we got together. The thought of him chatting anyone else up makes me sick. When I read the messages my heart sank. I know we wernt together but I cnt help but feel that he has done all the I love you's and stuff before and he will do it again in the future. I'm just, not necessarily an obstacle but someone to keeep him occupied. I think its jst my owwn self belief that I'm not meant to be loved by anyone that I can't get myself to allow them to. What should I do?
View related questions:
I love you Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Red591  +, writes (5 October 2011):
 who cares what he did before you started dating. If you are this insecure about that then you will end up driving him to do exactly what you fear. Don't freak out unless there is something to freak out about. The only one here who should freak out is him for you snooping in his messages.
A
male
reader, serenity80 +, writes (4 October 2011):
Lesson learnt. Don't go snooping through his past again and you wont feel this insecure and jealous again.
...............................
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (4 October 2011):
 You need to believe you are worthy of love. You need to love yourself. You need to accept that people have lives both before and after you are part of their lives and it does NOT detract from how they feel about YOU.
...............................
A
female
reader, angelDlite +, writes (4 October 2011):
 how long have you been together? you have to expect him to have had had a life and chased women before you got together! everyone has a past. learn to think more positively - be happy that you saw nothing to suggest he is still chatting women up on facebook, that means he much be happy and content with you. deal with your insecurities before they ruin this and every relationship you get into
x
...............................
A
male
reader, Thelaird1 +, writes (4 October 2011):
 It's a tricky situation. But did you used to chat to other people before you were together? I know I did.
The insecurity will only become worse if you are not careful. You need to be open and honest with him and talk about how you feel.
We all have issues from time to time, but it's how you deal with them that's important.
I suffered with insecurity in previous relationships. Note the word previous.
Insecurity can destroy trust and self belief if you let it, so it's important you deal with it head on.
...............................
A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (4 October 2011):
 This has nothing to do with your boyfriend at all. It is your own self belief. You need to have more self confidence and believe that you are enough for him. You shouldn't have went through his facebook in the first place, and now that you have saw these messages it is making you have less self belief in yourself. At the end of the day off course he has had a past where he has chatted up other girls. There is nothing wrong with this, but he is with you now, nobody else and at the end of the day if he didn't want to be with you then he wouldn't be. You need to start believing that he wants to be with you.
...............................
|
