A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I'd like to introduce myself as Len. I am 26-year old and I am married to an engineer who currently works in Saudi. We have been married for 2 years already but we've been having this relationship for 8 years and we have been blessed with a 5-year old daughter. He used to physically, emotionally, and mentally abuse me when we were still young but right now he has refrained from doing it again. I can say I am happy with my husband and he has been supporting me and our daughter to the fullest. I know that he loves me and he would do everything for me. Though there was a time that our relationship hit a bad turn, it started on November 2015, I overheard some rumors about him having an affair with his workmate and he kept on saying that it wasn't true. I refused to believe him and told him that I wanted to file an annulment but he wouldn't let me.I desperately wanted someone to talk to and comfort me, that's when I met a 42-year old man into my life, let's call him Chris. He comforted me from my loneliness, helped me forget the heartaches, and we both fell in love. I can tell that he really loves me based on all the efforts he had done. He knows that I am married and I haven't been annulled with my husband yet he is willing to wait for me until the very end. He is already divorced with his ex-wife and they had 3 children together. Some of his family relatives and friends already know about us but on my side, only my sisters, friends know, and I even told my husband about us but still he wouldn't agree with having an annulment.I really love the man I am currently having an affair with, I cannot afford to lose him and I do not want to leave him after all that he has done for me. Last December 2016, I had a talk with my husband and he persuaded me about us having a new start. He told me that the rumors about him were really not true. I told him about the affair that I had and he told me he has forgiven me. I was already okay with losing my husband but after our talk, my feelings for him went back, I did not want to lose him either, I'm not really sure if it's because I still love him or because I wanted to feel secure. Now, I am currently two-timing with the both of them. I am aware about my wrong-doings, but still I cannot help myself. I decided to keep my marriage with my husband maybe because of financial and emotional assurance and I decided not to stop my affair because I would feel guilty about leaving him and the fact that I love him and do not want to lose him.Right now, Chris is here in the city where I live in for his vacation. We are not living together because of my security purposes. He is currently busy with his children and relatives which makes me jealous most of the time. Though he is trying his best to be with me when he can, I just cannot help my jealousy over them.Now I am what I should do with these feelings I have for my husband and the man I am having an affair with. I love my husband because we have been together for a very long time, I know him and he knows me very well, although there are times he doesn't treat me with respect. He shouts at me occasionally, the way he used to abuse me way back. I love Chris for he has done everything for me and has not given up with our relationship, he treats me with respect, what my husband lacks, he has. I am having a hard time weighing my feelings for them.
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affair, divorce, ex-wife, fell in love, his ex, jealous Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (15 March 2017):
 I think you should leave both. It sounds like you are being selfish and stringing them along, where is your five year old daughter in all off this? She must be very confused. Think about her and being a mother and stop messing with these two men. Either choose who you want to be with or be alone.
A
male
reader, Denizen  +, writes (11 March 2017):
 It's time for you to be strong. You have been hoping the decision would make itself. It doesn't look as if that is going to happen.
Your choices are simple - carry on as you are and absorb the feelings of guilt you are probably feeling - or break with one of your partners.
You are relatively young so there is still time to start again with a new partner, and for your husband to also find someone new.
However if you choose your husband you have to commit fully to honour your vows. Can you honestly do that?
As I said the choice is clear. You have to make the decision - no-one else. Don't be weak any longer.
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