A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hey all! I would like some advice please. OK so my work moved locations a couple months back and since we moved we don't have our propane set up yet so we have to go to a local gas station to fill up pretty much daily. I'm the one that has to do this most of the time. Well this girl works it this gas station on Fridays and thats the only day I'd get to see her well we'd chat every Friday while she filled the propane up. After a few weeks of talking and finding out she new around here. So for a couple weeks I thought about asking her out cause we seemed to interact well. On the day I decided to finally ask she told me it was her last day and she got a new job so when I heard that I said we should hang out and she said yeah and gave me her numberWe started to text like every day but it felt different for some reason and I still don't know why. Since she was started her new job they sent her to train in a different start for like a week so I had to wait to hangout with her for a couple weeks. We had planned to hangout yesterday(Saturday) but on last Thursday I texted her and asked if we still had those plans but she didn't reply so later that day I texted again and asked how she was doing. She didn't reply again so I waited till Friday night and texted again basically saying that I was sorry for being a bad texter and not showing much interest. I am pretty boring to talk to through text I believe. Plus another girl that's a friend said my texting kinda sucked cause I showed her our texts but anyways I also said for her that I'm understanding and that she should tell me what's up and stuff. She finally texts back saying that she was acting like a Dick and was over thinking stuff and other things. She said she didn't know what to do cause things are complicated with her ex that she hasn't seen in like 6 months. I didn't really know what to say but I said all I wanted was to hang out. No expectations. She said ok and was sorry and we ended up hanging out on Saturday but only for a few hours for lunch then I had to drop her back off so she could pick up her friend/roommate from work. I wanted to hangout more though.OK so I found out that she moved here from other side of the state cause she used to be addicted to hardcore drugs and was in a program to help her with that. Her ex I guess is still on other side of the state using the drugs. Guess she still feels obligated or committed to him and is trying to get him to stop. She was with him for 8 years.she's 28 and I'm 30 btw. I told here I'm not judging her and stuff and that I'm glad she's doing better now. She's been sober for 6 months. I also told her I'm not here to make things weird and that I'm ok with hanging out as friends for now. I think she's cute and seems cool and would like her to get to know me better. We definitely both suck at texting though. I'm not sure if she's just not interested in me or if I should just take my time. Basically I wanted you to get the back story so you can give better advice on how I should handle this or what I should think about it. When when would talk when she worked at the gas station it seemed like she wanted me to ask her out and she said she was glad I asked for number but now I'm not sure. Maybe I'm overthinkingTHanks for any advice and sorry for long message. I'm not good at this stuff.
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drugs, her ex, text Reply to this Question
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female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (15 March 2017):
 If you don't want to fall in the friend-zone then don't offer her friendship because that is what will happen am afraid. If she is still caught up with her ex then am not sure how you fit in to the picture. Maybe hang out a few more times and see how you get on, but if you don't want a friend then you should tell her that. Because already it sounds to me like you are putting yourself in the friend-zone.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 March 2017): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionYeah gotcha. I just don't know how to handle the situation I guess with the ex and her past with the drugs. Should I just try to be a friend and don't try to flirt with her and stuff. I don't want to fall into that frindzone permanently but I am will ingredients to be friends now so we can get to know each other. She told me to text her when I dropped her off and I do but it always takes her awhile to text back. She said sorry that she's bad at texting back and that I'm fine so shouldn't worry. It's just kinda a complicated situation I guess and I'm not sure how to handle it.
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A
female
reader, Slippers  +, writes (6 March 2017):
Okay texting a girls is like having a convo; so start with .. good morning how's the weather your way ?? the sun so dazzling here I need super shades or just your pretty face to look at .. .or whatever your weather like try and make texting fun witty . Tell her about your day .. tell her what your your up too ..: ask to call her not every day maybe once a week as a catch up call ...
Take it easy don't be pushy .. if you need any help with the texting send us a message and sample of what you send and we could see if we could spice it up a bit
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