A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:[OP original title]Can a person say that they are truly commited and are in love with their partner when they are capable of harboring deep secrets about themselves...which they KNOW will affect their partner's will and desire to continue in the relationship? Doesn't it go against the true meaning of committment to a relationship and the vows of marriage to be willing to keep secrets that are betraying what their partner believes is true about the relationship and true about their partner? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (9 August 2010): If you would not accept this kind of lying from a business partner about their past actions, then why in the hell should you have to accept it from your wife? It's crazy!
You are doing business with the whole partner, not just the part of themselves they want you to know about. Likewise you are marrying the whole woman, not just the part she wants you to know about.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 August 2010): Some secrets are best left buried why destroy a good trusting relationship that would cause hurt to you both and wreck lives
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A
male
reader, xnickx +, writes (8 August 2010):
 I think that any secrets which they know will affect their partner's will to continue the relationship, is going aganist the meaning of commitment to a relationship.
However, some secrets just need their time to come out and wait till you have the TRUST that your partner will still feel the same after finding out the secret.
If you wait too long, your partner may feel hurt you didnt trust them earlier, if you go too soon, then it could blow the whole thing anyways.
But in general, by the time a relationship reaches the mariage stage, there should be no secrets and the relationship should be completely trusting.
Nick
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