A
female
age
,
*aryB
writes:If a couple who have been together only a yr. or so have a lot of issues throughout their relationship end up breaking up and then 2 mths. later decide to reunite without really working through these issues, can this relationship survive the second time around? If the person who was dumped the first time around only makes promises that they will change their behavior (the reason for the breakup) instead of fully working through these problems and you take their word for it how long down the road will these issues most likely appear again causing them to break up again? Also, when a couple break up and then reunite after a short period of time do they once again go through the honeymoon phase where everything seems just wonderful at first or do they basically take up where they left off before the breakup?
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male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (6 September 2011):
 Your answers, in order:
1. Probably not.
2. About 6 to 8 weeks....
3. The "honeymoon" phase will last until the morning after you put out for him the first (new) time. After that, it reverts back to where and how things were when you and he split in the first place.....
Good luck...
A
female
reader, Ciar  +, writes (6 September 2011):
 Highly unlikely. If unresolved issues were bad enough to cause a break up, then they'll be bad enough to cause another.
No one can put a time frame on that. It could be days, weeks or months. The best way to avoid the uncertainty and broken promises is to not take someone back until they HAVE changed, not while they are (or claim to be) changing. Having agreed to take someone back you can always change your mind and break up until they have sorted themselves out. There are no legal or moral obligations forcing you to give them another chance.
They usually go through a honeymoon phase, but not always.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (6 September 2011):
 if the issues are not resolved they will resurface... if they were the reason for the break-up they will still be there. IGNORING the elephant in the living room does not make it go away..
for us we had a huge huge HUGE blow up (less than a year after we started) and while we did address the issue and talk about it, and PLAN to go slow, once we got back together (about a week after the blow up) we almost immediately were right back to where we were before the blow up...
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A
female
reader, Lola1 +, writes (6 September 2011):
 I could not hope to accurately predict whether or not your relationship will work out the second time or not; never mind giving you a time-line for when or if things will fall apart. It doesn’t matter how things work or don’t work for other people – it matters how things can work for you…
What is telling is what you say imbedded in your questions:
You have doubts this will work because you do not think your partner will make the changes he/she pledged to make and hasn't put the work into changing. You want a ‘courting period’; this person (in your opinion) somehow was responsible for the break-up of your relationship.
You do not want it to be over, but are not ready to fully forgive and want to be courted.
If this were me, I would simply behave as though I were being courted. I would not have long and heavy relationship discussions (after all, we are not jumping back into where we left off) and I would keep the healthy distance two people getting to know each other keep… and use this time to get to know the person I am interested in, and watching to ensure they have changed in the ways necessary to be happy with them before I invest further.
It call it the “happy-steam-roller”… cheerfully making sure that I am happy regardless of the behaviour of others…
Good luck! :-)
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A
male
reader, Ashley0112358  +, writes (6 September 2011):
 It completely varies from couple to couple, unfortunately for myself, i am in a couple where re-uniting, means starting off from where we left off with no "honeymoon" phase.
However, re-uniting shows that you both still care for each other, and if you trust the person even just a little, you can be sure that the promises made are in order to improve your relationship.
If you are still worried, i suggest you speak to your boyfriend. Taking your age into consideration, you are both adults, and therefore should be able to sit and talk rationally about the problems you both face and the issues you have.
Let him know that you want things to be fixed and not just white washed over.
My girlfriend and myself, see our relationship as a wall, Its a long wall now at almost 6 years, but it has its cracks (problems), also is has many framed pictures hanging on it (our happy memories).
Whenever we have had cracks, we dont just white wash over them as a coat of paint wont fix it. We work on our issues, and talk about why our trust has faltered or why we were hurt.
"2 mths. later decide to reunite without really working through these issues, can this relationship survive the second time around?"
Usually, deciding to reunite, means you agree to try to resolve the issues you previously had, unless the person hurt by the issues has decided to forgive the other completely. However in your case, if you have reunited without working through the issues, its comes down to trust and forgiveness mainly.
You can decide to work through them, in which case you will need to tell your partner things need to be resolved before you continue, or you can leave them unresolved, and eventually forgive him for the issues.
Usually issues need to be resolved as issues are recurring, such as he always lies (bad example but its a issue), unlike incidents which are not recurring, such as he cheated.
Issues are harder to deal with as they affect your everyday life, and never go away, unlike incidents, which cause a lot of pain, but eventually fade away.
"If the person who was dumped the first time around only makes promises that they will change their behavior (the reason for the breakup) instead of fully working through these problems and you take their word for it how long down the road will these issues most likely appear again causing them to break up again?"
You need to try and accept his promises and have faith he will keep them, you never know, maybe the problems will never appear again, quite often being dumped is enough to make someone change.
If i have left anything unanswered, or if you feel i need to elaborate on anything please let me know as im happy to help.
Good luck, i hope things work out for you.
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