A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:i have a bad history of sexual abuse as well as physical abuse when i tried to prevent the sexual abuse from taking place.. because of this i started self-harming. ive cut myself pretty badly and deep and have really ugly scars from it on my arms and a few on my legs and the worst on my hips. my question is will it put guys off me? i know that cutting yourself is bad and all that.. but will it gross guys out or put them off me? are guys not attracted to girls with scars? any advice would be appreciated Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Jessmca  +, writes (29 May 2010):
 If you meet a guy who truly likes the person who you are, show him the scars, or if he asks tell him the story behind it. The other option is there's scar removal surgery. I have a couple scars on my wrist from depression from asshole guys, but I stopped and there not that bad, but there still there. So I would meet a guy who really likes the person you are, and then open up even more to him and he will be touched. Trust me.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (29 May 2010): A lot of people on here have made the good and very valid point that if a guy loves you, he couldn't care less. But you're not necessarily looking for love; most girls your age would rather be seen as attractive in general, by themselves and others. I can say without any doubt that such scars will have no real impact on this at all - attractiveness has much more to do with personality, facial expression and body language that the stuff that shows up in photos.
Plus, guys dig scars too. I'm pretty much attracted to anyone by default if she has noticeable tattoos, piercings or scars (intentional or otherwise).
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 May 2010): try mederma to get rid of the scars. it worked for me when i fell off my bike and had a huge cut and scar
...............................
A
female
reader, Miamine  +, writes (29 May 2010):
 The scars are not a problem babes, only stupid worthless men care about such little things as small imperfections on your body.
But I must be truthfull, what will put them off is that you are unhappy, have negative thoughts and hurt yourself. They are not doctors, it's a lot to ask a man to understand all the pain and suffering you've lived with. Only a rare man will be strong enough to cope.
You need to find support to help you understand and deal with your past. You need to get strong on your own, and realise the past can't hurt you anymore and make commitments for a healthy, happy, future. When you are strong, happy and confident, then you will be able to enter a relationship as an equal partner and not a victim or someone who is stuck in pain and can't move on to happiness.
Equal relationships need two healthy people. Fix yourself, fix your mind and move on towards happiness. Then when you meet a guy you like, you can explain, you used to suffer and be in pain, but now your as healthy as anyone else, but your experiences have made you stronger, wiser and more understanding. A woman like that, a woman who has overcome is a great catch for any man.
...............................
A
female
reader, loops +, writes (29 May 2010):
I agree someone who truly loves you will not be put off. Nobody is perfect. Everyone has some form of imperfection, if someone loves you for who you are they wont give a flying hoot about your scars trust me. I know how hard it is I have some old scars myself and low self confidence, but some of the things that really bother me my boyfriend couldn't care less about, and you will be the same with someone who really cares. Don't let anything stop you :)
...............................
A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (29 May 2010):
 If it is true love,it will not matter. Even if you are legless or armless, he would still love you the same.
Love does not see any sins and is blind .
...............................
A
female
reader, Misstee +, writes (29 May 2010):
Girl! First of all i dont see why u see yourself being with "guys", what happend to waiting 4 the GUY that will know ur worth. i dont know what Guys would say but i know what two types of guys would say. type 1 would say to his friends: damn i shagged her and it was kinda okay but i hated her scars, you know if i couldve taken em away i wouldve, but oh well thats what i get for sleeping with these girls that are desperate to be loved. pssh i dont love, man shes never even gonna hear from me again- this type of guy is really common... type 2, would say to you after sex: wow that was incredible baby. you know i dont know why you were so insecure, i mean ur scarz are beautiful cause you are beautiful. and they add onto my definition of you. LATER ON IN THE RELATIONSHIP, he will say: you know iv realised how strong you are, and to feel ur skin against mine reminds me how blessed i am to be with an overcomer. i love you and ur scarz- this type of guy is out there. wait 4 him 2 arrive. be patient! if u rush u will pass him and when u look back he will be gone... girl u and i are round about the same age, take my advice. i understand u may be under pressure to just do it with anyone cause you wanna fit in and feel likeable. but i know guys, he will like the fact that u willing to give him some veejayjay but he wont like u as such. mwah, i write this with love.
...............................
A
male
reader, serenity80 +, writes (29 May 2010):
Quite simply.. no. It won't put off someone that loves you and wants to be with you. It will however let them see that there are probably going to be some issues relating to intimacy with you.
The best thing you can do is not focus on whether or not scars will put off guys, but rather make sure you yourself are in a good place mentally where you have your own self confidence and belief in yourself so that when you do find yourself in a relationship it can develop well and that the horrible past does not let mess up you future. All the best.
...............................
A
female
reader, Lizziee +, writes (29 May 2010):
 well you have had a bad past so that explains why you have harm your self and self harming isn't always the answer but some times its makes people feel better. you will find a guy that doesn't care about the scars but he cares about who you are in side
...............................
|
