A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I turn 16 last month and five months ago, I was raped by a masked man. I was a virgin before it happened and then three months ago, I found out I'm pregnant. Nobody knows anything except for my best friend (he's a guy) and he tells me that if I don't tell my mom, then he will. But what will my mom think of me!? I'm just so scared!It's too far into the pregnancy to get an abortion and my best friend said he would be there to help me raise the baby but I don't want to do that to him. Plus, I'm just not ready to be a mom! I'm thinking about giving the baby up for adoption because I simply can't give my baby the life it deserves, but my best friend keeps telling me I need to tell my mom before I make any big decisions because she could really help.I love my mom and I know she loves me too, but I'm just so scared of what she'll think of her only daughter. That I couldn't fight off the rapist and ended up getting pregnant. I feel weak and violated! And completely scared to death! What should I do?
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female
reader, jaime90  +, writes (29 June 2009):
 i resent the fact that people are asking you why you didnt go to the police. When i was 15 and a virgin i was raped and didnt tell anyone. I was so scared and didnt want people thinking badly. I regret that decision to this day almost five years later. you should really go to the police, please take it from someone who wishes they did. And tell your mother, she will be supportive she loves you. I would suggest seeing a therapist, the trauma a rape victim experiences can have massive effects later in life. Good luck xx
A
male
reader, Main Man  +, writes (3 June 2009):
 You need to tell your mother what has happened to you. Then you should both go to the police. If you can remember what you were wearing that night put the clothes in bag & take them with you. So that the police can try to find some d.n.a of your rapist. It is up to you about getting pregnancy termanated.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 May 2009): wow yu were raped yu didnt go 2 da police yu didnt tell ne1 r yu even goin 2 prenatal care makn sure ur baby is healthy did yu go get checkd .... im not 2 old but i know these thing n how r yu hidin dis pregnancy? go tell ur mom if dis is true she can not blame yu but trust shes not gonna beleive cuz yu waitd so long so now she may think ur covern sumthing up ne ways i wish yu the best of luck n go wit da adoption bcuz i wouldnt wna b goin around carryn a baby that was forced n2 ma life
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A
male
reader, daletom +, writes (5 May 2009):
Young lady, your posting shows an incredible amount of maturity and composure in the face of something that is wrong, evil, and unjustifiable under any circumstances. Please find people who can help you through this.
Believe it or not, your mother is probably more supportive than you realize. I have been around parents when their kids went through tough times - like getting pregnant - drug busts - car wrecks - and the parents I know have always helped. Give your Mom a chance! It sounds like your friend may be everything you need to help you break the news.
I support the decision to place your baby for adoption. Among my friends I'm aware of at least a dozen adopted kids - including two adopted by my brother-in-law. Every one is in a stable home and loved as much as any child can be.
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A
female
reader, bellaaddison +, writes (4 May 2009):
I am amazed that you have been able to hold all of this in for this long... and hold it all together. You need to talk to your mother. If for some reason you simply cannot (I won't pretend to assume that ALL mothers are decent and loving, maybe there is more to it that you're not sharing with us that makes you feel that you can't tell her) but you need to talk to someone who can help you. What you've gone through, physically and emotionally, is more than most adults could bare, but you are so young and without proper guidance, you could suffer from this emotionally for many many years to come. Please let someone help you. As far as the baby is concerned, only you know what decision is best for you... think about all of your options thoroughly as it is a decision that will impact you for the rest of your life. And I agree with Reeta in regard to getting checked for any STDs... 1 in every 4 people carry sexually transmitted diseases. It's important. I know this seems overwhelming and it's a great burden to bear, but that is why I encourage you to speak with someone because it truly is a BURDEN to endure all that you have facing you. Take Care and much love.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 May 2009): i must say iam one of those people who are harsh to women that dont fight back at men but on the other hand iam a woman who isnt afraid of men. As for mum tell her straight if she does love you then she will understand but. . if you truly were raped and arent twisting truths why didnt you go to the police?
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 May 2009): Don't be ridiculous. Your mom loves you and will do everything she can to help you. It's a pity you didn't tell her sooner, then there might have been a chance for an abortion, but I'm sure you have people who will love and support you.
The only way you will begin to work through this is by telling your mom and SOON. There is no shame in being raped, that is the rapist's problem and not yours. You did nothing wrong and are not to blame. Tell her TODAY.
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A
female
reader, Reeta  +, writes (4 May 2009):
Sweety, you've got to tell your mother about it all: how it happened and what it led to. Please don't think that any of this is your fault because it's not. Your mother will be more than understanding and she'll help you make the right decisions concerning your pregnancy, the baby and the man who raped you. I don't understand how your friend has let the silence last for so long.. you mustn't remain silent anymore. You'll see how you'll feel better when you've talked to your mom about it. You don't have to carry all the weight on your shoulders. Plus, you also have to make sure you don't have any sexually transmitted diseases. Please, please, please, go talk to her ASAP!!
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