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male
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anonymous
writes: alright,so seeing a girl for about 3 weeks now, and moving along quite fast. so she says she cant hang out this week because she is with her best friend on monday (which i promote, never give up friends) and again with another friend on tuesday. well, late last night she decided to tell me she hung out with her ex of 3 years whom they "saw" each other many times after the break up (from my understanding, she tried to make things work after he messed things up). He being her only other partner... I dont think they did anything, but its the golden rule... ex will always win over the new guy. What should i do? i dont want that going on, cause you never know when emotions get the best of a person... i tried to tell her i feel uncomfortable about it, but she doesnt see where i am coming from. so..what the duece?Yohanson
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male
reader, Lostandalone  +, writes (19 July 2006):
 You have something to worry about and you are right exes do win over the new guy. I would tell her straight out how I feel about this whole situation. What do you have to lose but her and if you let this continue without any recourse you will anyway. I have an ex that I hang out with and we kiss and hug and hold hands and yes have even had sex!!! I'm not saying she is doing that but after 3 years you know she is still more comfortable with him than she is with you. State your case and let her decide but don't push her on it or you will lose for sure. Good Luck.
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female
reader, kellyO  +, writes (19 July 2006):
 Hi Yohanson,
I understand how u feel no one wants to see an ex lying at the background of their relationship.
I must tell u though it depends really on how frequent she cotacts him if perhaps once in a week or two weeks then there is cause for concern.But,If her relationship with him is just platonic(once in a while contact) and is you she is seeing then i dont really see any worry. She might have moved past the thing with him that is why she decided to have a relationship with you. Dont push too hard unless she might take you as being possesive and it might harm your relationship.
It is ok though to let her know how you feel but try not to make it an issue or demand she forgets her friendship with him.
Goodluck
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