| A
female
,
*adya
writes: Im very confused. I had a great bf who was loving, committed, caring and we hv the best chemistry until everything change when he got a new job. He became hot-headed, intolerant and selfish. In the end, we broke up after 3yrs as we cant see eye to eye on certain issues. One of the major issue is we had plan to get married but he wants me to stay with him and his parents after the marriage. But i believed in being independent and living on our own as a married couple. My ex had bought a house with his parents without consulting my opinion first and then insisted that i live with him and his parents. I used to have a bad experience living with my first mother-in-law (I was married once but divorced). Probably thats the reason I have a phobia of living under one roof with in-laws. My ex-bf's mum is controlling and i dont quite like her. So i was quite disappointed when i had a slow talk with him abt the issue but he still insisted that if we were to get married, we have to live with his parents. His new job is also taking a toll out of our strain relationship. He spends so much time in his work and cared less about me. On valentines, i told him to come home early as i had cook him dinner. He cameback so late that i was so upset with him. Then recently I accepted a guy friend of mine whom ive known for 9yrs as my new boyfriend. Im not sure if its some rebound thing or i really love him. However, whenever we go out or have sex i keep thinking of my ex. I just cant forget my ex no matter how hard i tried. My new bf...he's boring, places his friends first than me (though he denies it). But what im attracted about him is no matter how busy he is, he still cares about me. And to tell you the truth, me and my ex...we still seeing each other and having sex. My ex wants to marry me but because of our differences, that hold him back. I've had a string of failed relationships. Sometimes i think im cursed when it comes to relationships. Im rather confuse and i dont know what's the best thing i should do. I just need a man who loves, cherish and commits to the relationship. Someone who can compromise...I really need advise.
View related questions:
broke up, divorce, my ex Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, rhc88 +, writes (19 July 2006):
 First things first, you are not cursed! Never put yourself down like that.
I really think you are on the rebound with this new guy if you keep thinking about your ex all the time especially if you are having an intimate moment like sex.
And fact that you think your new boyfriend is boring, do you not think your being a bit harsh, if you keep focusing on your ex; how can you tell if he is? I hope your not comparing the two.
Have a talk with your ex about how you feel with the current situation with you both meeting up for “casual” sex. Either work it out or nothing at all. Because if you both keep meeting up, (at his demand?) I doubt he will have much respect for you.
If that doesn’t work out, you will meet the perfect guy eventually, everyone has that “soul mate” wondering around (I know…. A bit corny…. but it’s true), and you know what; this new guy your with – it could be him! You’d soon know if you focus on him and commit to the relationship.
Best of Luck!
|
