A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend told me he couldn't come with me to see a friend's band play last night because he has decided not to drink/go out at the moment (he is training for a half marathon), but I have just found out he went out drinking with a friend instead! He said he changed his mind and doesn't see what the big deal is, but I'm really hurt and a bit mad. Am I in the wrong? We're both 26 and have been together 3 years. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (31 March 2013): Thanks for your replies.
In answer to some questions raised, he loves the band and is actually the one who introduced me to them. He is also a music teacher so is usually really into that sort of thing. As for the drinking, this was supposed to be the first week of him stopping! I agree he probably didn't plan it, but we have argued many times before about him putting his friends first (ie cancelling plans with me) so that is partly why I am so mad. I probably should have included all of this in my original question, sorry.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 March 2013): Hmmm. Sounds like he took the easy option of a pint with a mate because he felt like doing it at that moment and it was less effort than seeing the friend's band whose music he may not know or like? Then maybe didn't want to disappoint you so just kept low key about going out with his friend. What started as a quick pint probably just turned into 3 or 4, as happens occasionally. Also if he's training for the marathon he's probably not had a drink in a while so it tasted really good and he was having fun.
I'd let it go, as in I wouldn't stay pissed off with him, he's only human. Or ask him directly but in a light hearted way if he doesn't like the band. I'm absolutely sure it has nothing to do with not wanting to spend time with you though, and I'm sure it wasn't planned either.
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