A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I really need adviceI am so in love with my good friend and he knows thisLast year he confided he was having issues with his girlfriend of 5 years. He said he was really unhappy we got a bit close and kissed twice I was so happyThen he said he could leave as she had emotional issues and frequently threatened suicide. I was devastated and became clingy and emotional and our friendship hung by a thread. We got through it but he only texts and contacts me sporadically now we spoke the other day and he said something he said a while back that it would have been very nice to meet me a while agoI know people will say move on etc but I know I love him too much and would rather remain alone I wish I knew if he still felt anything but he says due to the predicament he's in he can't help :(He also said this to me in a text recently"Things is ok.......... I just need some time to sort things out at home. I know in your eyes, that will not happen. But to me I like to take things gradually to avid maximum damage. Everyone have their own way to deal with things, either that is a right way or not. We do what we feel comfortabe to resolve our own issues. You got my point? I will always stay in touch and be a good friends. It's that still not enough?"He also has reduced talking to me a lot I'm in despair please help
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female
reader, AuntyEm +, writes (30 March 2013):
 His message is screaming out that he does not want to be in a relationship with you...im sorry!!
He obviously likes you as a friend but he is in too deep with his girlfriend at this time (whether they are together or not)to be looking in your direction for anything more.
By asking 'Is that still not enough?' He is giving you a get out of jail card...more or less saying, 'If you don't like this you can walk away'
He is also limiting the time he contacts you because you are very emotional about the situation and he probably doesn't want to make things worse by giving you false hope.
You need to tear yourself away for now and rebuild elsewhere, let him have the time and space he needs to do what he's gotta do and who knows, he might get back in touch at a later date!!
Clinging on is just going to make you seem like a pest he can't shake off, so let go and move on.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 March 2013): I really feel your pain. You have to let him go. It's going to hurt you otherwise. Please be strong and find other friends to share the burden. This can't work. Not now. Maintain dignity, build your own life up again. Do stuff you enjoy, get out there. Don't let your happiness depend on him. Get healthy. Please be kind to yourself and move on.
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